We hung out for a few more minutes, neither of us really knowing what to talk about. I didn’t know about him, but I was too busy imagining what I might find in that file. Would it change everything? He loaded his dishwasher, his back to me most of the time. It felt awkward between us, and clearly it was time for me to go.

“Did you find anything about Heriberto Abana?” Chris asked as we made our way to the door.

“Not a thing.”

“That makes two of us. I’m guessing you’re just remembering something wrong.”

“Not possible.” I grabbed my keys out of my shoe and slipped my foot inside.

“Why? Because Nikki Kill’s hunches can’t ever be wrong?” He was teasing, but the words came out feathery fern.

“Actually, no, they really aren’t.” He was mocking me. I felt stupid for sharing my synesthesia with him before, and was suddenly glad he didn’t remember. I shoved my other foot into its shoe and straightened, clasping the doorknob. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. The guy is Heriberto Abana. You were searching for him before, and one of the addresses you searched him under had a five and two threes in it.”

“If you say so,” he said.

“I do.” I opened the door. When I turned to say good-bye, I noticed he had a piece of fuzz stuck to his stubble. I plucked it off. “You should probably shave before you go to work tomorrow. You look like a hobo.” I flicked the fuzz to the floor.

He ran his hand over his jaw, smiling. “Thanks for the advice. See you tomorrow.”

“Yes, you will.” I turned and bounded down the stairs, my stomach in knots over what he might find between now and then.

10

I WOKE UP before the sun, on the heels of a nightmare I couldn’t quite place. I had the feeling that Luna was in it, but I couldn’t be sure, and I didn’t want to scour my mind too hard to find her. Instead, I stared at the ceiling and listened to the water running in Dad’s bathroom, wondering what I would do when I finally found the missing piece to the puzzle of Mom’s death. I had pretty much convinced myself at this point that Dad was guilty of something. I’d given him so many chances to tell the truth, and he just wasn’t doing it. Whatever he was hiding, I had only hours to decide what I would do with that information when I found out.

For the first time, my problem felt bigger than me. More than I could handle on my own. I wasn’t used to that feeling. I was Nikki Kill. I was ass-kicking, fearless, and, most of all, invincible.

Only I wasn’t. Not all the time. Not now. And I knew it.