I nodded. “He’s got some sort of connection to Angry Elephant, too.”

“Angry Elephant?” There was laughter in his voice.

I stopped chewing. “Don’t look at me like that. Yes, Angry Elephant.”

“So you think Luna could be out here?”

I put my bread down on the bread plate. Did I? This was a question I had not yet asked myself. Was I out here for Luna? Was I out here to bust my dad? Or, when I looked down deep, was I simply out here to feel closer to my mom? I tried to imagine Mom in this city, with its bright lights and noise and constant bustle of people. Mom liked a simpler life. She liked the beach. She liked painting my nails to match hers. She liked cooking and reading and . . . and Bill Hollis. Don’t forget that, Nikki. She liked Bill Hollis an awful lot.

“Hello?” Chris snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Nikki. Everything okay?”

I swallowed, wiped my mouth with my napkin, my appetite suddenly gone. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled.

He leaned over the table. “You’re not.” I didn’t answer. My pulse crashed in my ears as the reality about my mom really sank in. All this time I had been looking at her as a victim. But the truth was, she was a hooker. She’d had an affair with Bill Hollis. She had lied to Dad, to me, to the whole world. And now Peyton and Dru were dead. Mom was the cause of it all. Not just Bill Hollis. I felt my hands curl into fists. “What am I missing here?” Chris asked.

I blinked away some of the anger and saw him sitting there, looking vulnerable and tired. In some ways, Chris was a victim of Mom, too. If she hadn’t had the affair with Bill, Peyton wouldn’t have existed. Chris wouldn’t have been with me at Tesori Antico that night. He wouldn’t have been punched and shot at and creamed by a Monte Carlo. It wasn’t fair. He followed me everywhere. He put his life on the line for me. Not once or twice, but over and over. In a world full of people I couldn’t trust, I knew I could rely on Chris Martinez. He believed in me. He challenged me. And I kept him in the dark.

Why? Why did I shut out the one person in this world who proved to me over and over again that I could trust him? It wasn’t fair to let him keep putting himself in danger and giving no skin of my own.

So let him in, Nikki.

It was hard. So hard to let him in. I’d almost lost him once. What if I actually did lose him? Letting people in meant heartbreak. Trust led to disappointment. Love led to loss. Always.

Except maybe sometimes it doesn’t.