Now, did anyone notice

That small ship that fired a shot

Which caught us rather neatly

And sent us to this spot?"

A small voice piped up from the back

"I think I saw it sir!

But forgive me for not telling you,

I don't want to cause a stir"

"The Captain's dead and I'm in charge

You'll tell me what you know

And don't give me no excuses

Or you'll be put below"

"Sir please, my eyes were playing tricks

Of that I must be sure

That strange force must have warped my brain

It's impossible, what I saw!

The ship was a familiar shape

(I don't mean to cause a fuss)

But, by some alien logitech,

We were attacked by us!"

At this the strange beings gathered round

The ship began to wail

And laugh and grin and gnash their teeth

The ship crew went quite pale

"Stop that awful racket

Whether ye be demons or dark gods!

We have no need for your foul curses

Ye bugger-lovely sods!"

"Now lad," said the engineer

"We need a bit more than that.

Time-loops I have seen before

But nothing like this trap."

A new voice then began to speak

Its tones did shake the structure

"I can tell you lovely folks

All about the ship that fucked ya"

"Listen not," the first mate said

"I don't like his manner"

But suddenly struck dumb he was

Hit squarely by space-spanner

"Oh, you'll listen," laughed the voice

"For through me you are saved

It's not as if you have much choice

'Less you like this as your grave

These entities that block your view

Were once local and had form

Some of them were once like you

Long before any of you were born

They were caught as you were caught

By doppelganger selves

I gave them the choice that they all sought

They chose to remain as elves"

"What choice?! What is this trickery?

Can you get us out of here?

What is the meaning of all this?"

Exclaimed the engineer

"You now exist in a non-place

Where time and space are not

A non-place in between the worlds

Quite a convenient spot

Now I give you two clear paths

Each odious as the other

Do you choose to save yourselves

Or save yourselves-another?

Path one: You stay here, join my gang

Become a non-space lover

Eternity is an excellent time

To get to know each other

Path two: I fit your little ship

With weapons beyond your ken

And send you off as my envoy

To enslave other men

You see it was indeed your doubles

That fired upon your crew

That caused you all these senseless troubles

That's right!" (a laugh) "Twas you!

So choose, and quick, before I change

My mind and leave you here

The previous yous were not unsure

Their options seemed quite clear"

A hurried conference then ensued

And without much deliberation

The frightened crew chose option two

With no equivocation

A snigger, then, from the great beast