Several minutes passed. The kettle boiled, the tea brewed, and Cole had almost finished the cup when Matey stopped purring.

"Mr Chison, I have found several issues with model TX81G. There appears to be non-branded hardware installed in the machine. Can you confirm?"

Cole set down his cup. His hand shook a little. "Yes, I can confirm."

"Mr Chison, non-branded hardware voids your lifetime warranty."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I can pay for the repairs."

"There also appears to be non-branded software installed in the machine. Can you confirm?"

"Yes, I can confirm."

"Mr Chison, non-branded software voids your lifetime warranty."

"Yes, I will pay for the repairs."

"Mr Chison, non-branded software and non-branded hardware void the effectiveness of model TX81G and all KenTel HomeHelp models. We do not condone adding non-branded software and non-branded hardware to model TX81G and all KenTel HomeHelp models. I have therefore removed this model from service. A replacement will be sent at once. I have sent an invoice for this call. I have sent an invoice for the replacement. Was this call to your satisfaction?"

Cole leaned against the kitchen bench. "End call."

"Goodbye, Mr Chison."

The AI's voice cut off and the walls, which were old and in much need of painting, creaked and wheezed. Cole went to Matey. The robot was still. Silent.

"Matey, call my daughter."

Silence.

Cole sat at the table. The radio sat there, too, its panel open and its guts hanging out. Cole replaced Matey's back panel. Its broken service arm lay beside the radio.

"Well, Matey. As my dad used to say, 'we'll either mend it or mess it up'. I've really messed this one up, little mate."

Matey stayed silent. Cole sat, quietly, and tried to remember where he'd put the phone.

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The Devil's Loop

Jesse Hayward

Nobody knows if Jesse truly exists. It has been speculated that he is a trans-dimensional personality composite, made up of one or several individuals smeared across the Heisenberg branes. Only one thing is certain - without his writings the galaxy would never have recovered from the Conceptual War of 3081.

Bubbled down in time and space

The little ship was sundered

Marooned amongst another race

Their valuables were plundered

So full in this dark nowhere

Non-local beings grin

"We're everywhere and never

We're so glad you dropped in

Temporality was failing

Falling into a large when

Your presence woke us up to time

And now we're back in then"

Gazed out portholes in high fear

The passengers were shocked

A laserlance stabbed in the dark

As the little ship was rocked

"Stop you fool!" Cried the first mate

"We don't know what they are!

For that matter where are we?!

We can't have gone that far!

My instruments are saying

That we haven't moved an inch!

So don't go shooting shadows

We may need them in a pinch!

They talk to us in English

Yet far from home we are

They must be telepathic

We aren't even near a star!