Chapter 1

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.

—Mark Twain

Church House

Belvedere Place

London SE1 8XX

Tuesday 27 March 2018

Dear Reverend Jowett,

It is with considerable regret that I write to advise you that an accusation has been made against you. Due to the serious nature of the complaint, and pending a full investigation, I must inform you that you will be suspended with immediate effect. If there is evidence of any criminal activity, we will of course be obliged to notify the police.

During the suspension period, you may remain at the manse in Broom Hill, but you must not exercise any of your ministerial responsibilities, pastoral or otherwise, and must have no unsupervised contact with persons under eighteen years of age or those considered vulnerable.

We understand how upsetting this situation must be and would like to offer you a short course of counselling support. While this is not mandatory, we would strongly advise you to take full advantage of this opportunity. Our records show that most people feel they benefitted from the course and found it to be a positive experience at a difficult time.

This letter will be delivered to you by your area minister, the Reverend Mark Stratton, and he will be happy to answer any queries you may have. However, although he can in broad terms outline the situation to you, he is not at liberty to divulge the exact details of the complaint until a full investigation has been launched. This is to protect possible victims while the details of the case are being investigated. We hope you understand.

We would like to assure you of our prayers at this distressing time, and remain available should you have any questions.

Every blessing,

Peter Jenkins

National Ministry Team Leader

Chapter 1

Monday 26 March 2018

Hazel

There’s a curious symmetry to the rhythm of suburban mornings: birds, the smell of bins, Bruno and his dog Trevor from number 10 shuffling along the pavement (surely their names should be the other way round?). And always, in the background, the irregular pulse of trains carrying hopefuls to the city to sit under fluorescent lights, making money to buy dreams. Hazel thinks all this while she waits at the railway crossing for the red-and-white arms to rise and point out the sky, as if to remind her there is more. The back of the waiting train is so close, she could reach out and touch it. It is early and the 6.21 from Oldbridge is swallowing only a few businessmen. Mainly women in sensible shoes (cleaners?) and men in overalls. Hazel breathes in the March morning with its smell of tarmac and cherry blossom. She wishes she could stand here forever with her thoughts instead of facing the day.