“I suspect by the end of an hour—and I don’t see a series in this, just one small segment of one show—we’ll conclude that you’re alluring and pretty with a suppleness and come-hither- ness there’s no denying,” Dr. Self says. “Likely, you can get away with your base predilections for now, but when you get as old as you think I am, gravity will make you honest. What do I say on my show? Gravity will get you. Life is inclined toward falling. Not standing or flying, indeed, barely sitting. But to fall just as hard as Marino did. When I encouraged you to seek him out after he was foolish enough to seek me out first, the potential plunge seemed rather minimal. Just whatever trouble you could cause, my dear. And just how far could Marino fall, after all, when he’s never risen above much of anything to begin with?”

“Give me the money,” Shandy says. “Or maybe I should pay you so I don’t have to listen to you anymore. No wonder your—”

“Don’t say it,” Dr. Self snaps at her but with a smile. “We’ve agreed on who we don’t discuss and what names we must never say. It’s for your own good. You mustn’t forget that part. You have much more to worry about than I do.”

“You should be glad,” Shandy says. “Truth is? I did you a favor, because now you won’t have to deal with me anymore, and you probably like me about as much as you like Dr. Phil.”

“He’s been on my show.”

“Well, get me his autograph.”

“I’m not glad,” Dr. Self says. “I wish you’d never called with your disgusting news, which you told me so I’d pay you off and help you stay out of jail. You’re a smart girl. It’s not to my advantage to have you in jail.”

“I wish I’d never called. I didn’t know you’d stop the checks because…”

“Because what for? What would I be paying for? What I was paying for doesn’t need my support anymore.”

“I shouldn’t have told you. But you always said I had to be honest.”

“If I did, I’ve wasted my words,” Dr. Self says.

“And you wonder why…?”

“I wonder why you want to annoy me by breaking our rule. There are some subjects we don’t bring up.”

“I can bring up Marino. And I sure have.” Shandy smirks. “Did I tell you? He still wants to fuck the Big Chief. That should bother you, since the two of you are about the same age.”

Shandy plows through hors d’oeuvres as if they are Kentucky Fried Chicken.

“Maybe he’d fuck you if you asked him real nice. But he’d fuck her before even me, given the choice. Can you imagine?” she says.