No other adults would bother watching their sons practise, even with the final coming up. But no other parents were in quite the fix Kelly was in. She had lost him this year. She didn’t expect his forgiveness, but she didn’t expect him to hate her. Now he would blame her for Lou leaving. Like everything, it had to be Kelly’s fault, and Ben would work his way backwards from there. God help her if Ben found out about Saturday night.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Jude Oxenford nodding. ‘Do you think they like cricket because it gives them a safe place to hide?’

So why have I spent half my life watching them? Kelly asked herself, and then turned to Jude. ‘I can’t see why Ben would be hiding among the boys he needs to get away from.’

‘Maybe he doesn’t want to get away from them.’

‘Maybe,’ Kelly said. She respected Jude for taking on the world’s shittiest job, but sometimes her familiarity crossed a line. Jude’s close interest in Ben didn’t reassure Kelly. In fact, it creeped her out. Jude had creeped her out since they were twelve years old. Gordon loved her to bits, for a start. And look at her, carrying off a short dress and a Status Anxiety handbag on a strap across her chest. No doubt about it, the toll not taken by not having children really began to not show when you hit fifty.

‘You must be under a lot of pressure with the Daniel thing.’

‘Tell me about it.’ Jude was smiling. ‘I’ve got everyone from the school council to Ryan Stoyle leaning on me to make him available for the final. The boys won’t even look at me.’

‘And why can’t you?’

‘Daniel himself.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I sat with him for two hours this morning. I’m not sure that he wants to come back to school, or the team. I’m leaving the suspension in place to protect his dignity, if you like.’

‘Ben wants Daniel to play,’ Kelly said carefully. ‘He wants life to be normal.’

‘Or maybe Ben’s more competitive than you give him credit for.’

‘Credit? If you’d grown up in my world, the less competitive he is in sports, the prouder I am of him.’

Jude lapsed into the kind of silence that, Kelly felt, expressed superiority more than submission to Kelly’s knowledge of her son. When did this fucking cricket practice end? Stoyle was hitting high catches. Ben was fetching balls from the boundary gutter. Kelly checked her watch.

‘You know the issue with Daniel is not really the surfboats,’ Jude said. ‘That’s just a convenient cover. It’s more about … the other.’ ‘Daniel’s growing a conscience?’ Kelly asked. ‘He’d better not tell his father.’

‘His father?’