“Let’s keep this simple?” He smiles softly. “Tell me what you learned about cariad?”

I swallow, and keep my eyes focused on our hands joined together. “It’s a term of endearment, but there’s more than one meaning.”

“And what meanings did you find?”

“I…”

My heart is rattling around in my chest. I bet he can hear it. In fact, I know he can, because he frowns, and after a moment of hesitation, raises my palm and nuzzles his face in it, eyes half-closed. It’s grounding. He’s here. He’s not rushing me or accusing me or making fun of me. He’s listening.

I wonder, not for the first time, how much he’s been touched with affection. At the thought, my fingers flex against his temple—and he presses forward, forcing them farther into his hair, seeking contact. So that’s a yes; starved for touch. When my fingers curl into the silken dark strands over his ear, his eyes open wide, bright gold against the fireflies’ blue-yellow glow. “What meanings did you find?”

“ ‘Cariad’ can mean ‘sweetheart,’ ” I whisper.

He nods, and leans down to graze his lips across my cheek. “Yes.”

“ ‘Darling.’ ”

His eyes on my face as he moves to my other cheek. Kisses it lightly. “Yes.”

“ ‘Beloved.’ ”

His lips are warm against my forehead. “Yes.”

“Also… it means ‘love.’ ”

He pulls away, eyes molten. This close, his gaze burns against my skin. Scalds, but I don’t want him to look away. “Yes, it does.”

I take a ragged, useless breath. “Which… did you mean?”

His smile is soft, wry. “Trick question.”

“Why?”

“Because I meant all of them.” I bite my bottom lip, and he smiles, drawing it out with his thumb. “But you already knew that. Didn’t you?”

I nod, because there’s no point in lying. “Yes.”

He frowns. “So why…?”

I half-shrug, flushing. “I… I just wanted to be sure…”

His eyes dart across my features, then widen in understanding. “You wanted to be certain of what I felt for you before I manipulated how you saw me—literally and figuratively.” Sel studies me, eyes a swirl of pain and regret. “Because now, even though you trust me with your life, you don’t trust me with your heart.”

It pains me to meet his gaze, because I know he sees right through it.

“I see.” His mouth lifts in a small, sad smile. Resignation. “I understand wanting to go back in time to help unpack the present. I mixed lies with truth when you needed me most. And when others did the same to hurt you.” He sighs quietly, nods, as if steeling himself. “I understand why you might not believe me now, so I will need to be happy that you at least believe what I felt about you then. That can be enough for me, if that’s what you need.”