‘Camilla – I never dreamed you – I don’t know what I can say, except that I’ll always—’

‘Piet, I’m sorry.’ Camilla was looking at him, dazed. ‘I’m really sorry. I don’t know what made me say such a stupid thing.’

Tim turned to her in fury, spinning her round, spitting his words into her face.

‘Don’t you ever learn anything, you selfish little bitch? Do you realise what you’ve done tonight, playing your vicious games? You never think about anyone else, least of all your friends. Because we’re not important, except to prop you up in your eternal war with your family. No one is really important in your bloody, screwed-up life. Except yourself.’

‘No. Oh no. I’m so sorry, I really am.’ Camilla leaned against a table in an attempt to steady her shaking body. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I was just so shocked to see them, together like that. And Daddy – she always does something to ruin things when I’m happy, and I don’t know how to deal with it. I never get it right. There’s always a—’

‘You’re going to have to learn the hard way,’ Tim took her thin shoulders and shook her. ‘Because it will all come round in a backlash one of these days, and you’ll pay a heavy price for using your friends in your sick, horrible schemes. You’re going to wind up a sad, messed-up woman just like your mother, and you needn’t come asking any of us for help.’

‘I only wanted to shock her. To punish her for what she’s doing to Daddy.’ Camilla made no attempt to brush away the tears that had begun to slip down her face. ‘For what she’s done to him and to me, all these years. I wanted to pay her for the way she’s treated each of us here. That’s all I meant to do. Please, please try to understand.’

Piet stood like a stone pillar, his face white, his mouth set in a thin, twitching line. Then he took Camilla’s hand.

‘Come on, Lady Camilla,’ he said. ‘We should go home now. We should all go home and get ourselves together.’

But Sarah could not find it in herself to walk with them. Tim called out her name as she rushed away from the group and found the ladies’ room. She locked the door. Then she slid to the floor, leaning against the tiled wall of the stall and sobbing, before she vomited all her foolish dreams into the cold, white bowl.

Chapter 7

Rhodesia, April 1965