We argue a little over the best pizza place in the area, until we finally come to an agreement. I order the pizza via the restaurant’s app, while Amelia goes about collecting plates and napkins, and also pulls an unopened bottle of wine from her pantry. I don’t bother reminding her I’m more of a beer man, though I am. I’m always up to give her fancy wine a try.

Within thirty minutes we’re seated at her tiny kitchen table, sharing a pizza and drinking wine, making small talk. She tells me funny stories about the endless stream of demanding customers who come into their store, and I tell her about the crazy requests people make when they’re asking for a Christmas tree.

“We get lots of people wanting us to just lop off the top of the tree,” I say, her eyes wide as she listens to me, sipping from her wineglass. “It’ll be this gorgeous twelve-footer, right? Majestic and just freaking gorgeous while they’re like, ‘We only want you to take three feet off the top, please.’”

“A travesty,” she says, a smile teasing the corner of her lips. She might be teasing me, but she gets what I’m saying.

“You’re damn right,” I agree with a firm nod.

“And what do you do when they make that type of request?” she asks.

“What usually deters most is when you have to charge them for the entire tree, regardless if they’re only taking three feet,” I explain. “If they only take the top, they ruin the rest of it, rendering the tree unsaleable. Charlie’s solution is to charge them full sticker no matter what.”

“Charlie is a very smart businessman,” Amelia says thoughtfully.

“He sure is,” I readily agree.

“So do most customers actually agree with that offer?”

“Nah.” I shake my head. “It’s hella pricey. But sometimes they’re so damn rich, they don’t care. Like today. We had a man with his wife, and she had—expectations.” She was rude as fuck, but I don’t bother saying that. I did my best to please that woman, and couldn’t help but feel sorry for her husband having to deal with her all the time, but hey. He’s the one who chose her, so that’s on him. “One of those expectations was the top four feet of a gorgeous fourteen-foot tree. It had perfect symmetry, like one of the best trees I’ve seen all season. She didn’t care if she was ruining it. She wanted the little tree for her tabletop display she was creating in her kitchen or some such shit. I don’t know.”

I used to worry about going on way too much, but I know Amelia doesn’t mind listening to me. Just like I don’t mind listening to her when she needs to unload. Now that I’m the customer service manager, I’m realizing that constantly dealing with rude customers is a test of my patience level. I can’t believe some of the things people want us to do.