Retail calls the day Black Friday, but Charlie Sullivan calls it Green Friday. As in, he’s selling lots of green and making lots of green too—cash, that is. It’s his most anticipated and least favorite day, all rolled into one.

And I’m pretty sure every single employee that works at Sullivan Tree Farm is scheduled today.

I got the early shift because I’m almost always here in the morning, and my seniority has to count for something. I’ve been hustling and loading trees all day. Helping people pick them out. Hauling them around over my shoulder like some sort of Paul Bunyan come to life. Charlie has been running around barking orders at everyone like a madman. His sister, Victoria, is running the retail store with that calm, cool attitude she has, everything in there humming along smoothly like it does. That attitude of hers is one her big brother clearly did not inherit.

What’s even crazier is Charlie and Candice’s wedding rehearsal is happening—tonight. Here at the tree farm. It’s scheduled to start right after we close, and quite frankly, I’m glad I won’t be around to have to help set up.

I’m sure it’ll be even more chaotic, though Candice will be here and she has this way about her. She makes everyone feel like they’re contributing and they make her so damn happy. She smiles and bounces and claps her hands together, offering accolades and gentle commands all the while. She also smooths Charlie’s ruffled feathers.

She’s good for him.

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately, especially with all of this wedding stuff going on around here, and I realized a few weeks ago I’d be down to start dating a woman seriously. First I’ve got to find myself a good woman to hang out with, which isn’t easy. I’m not one to try dating apps. I’ve done it before and it was a total fail. Not like I’m out and about on a nightly basis picking up ladies.

Once I find her, we could go out to dinner, the movies, to a bar, whatever. But not some trashy bar. I’m thinking more like a classy place where she can sip wine and I’ll drink a pricey beer that’s not my usual style. We can chat about our day and snack on appetizers before we take off back to her place—my imaginary girlfriend has no roommates, which is a most excellent thing—and do the deed all night long.

That’s my problem more than anything else. When was the last time I had sex? There’s a new girl who started here recently, and she’s cute and all, but I don’t like the idea of getting involved with someone I work with. What if it doesn’t work out? Even if she’s temporary help, which I’m pretty sure she is, I won’t be able to escape her. I’ll have to see her day in and day out until Christmas Eve, and if we don’t click, that would be a nightmare.