Hot. Romantic. Christmassy. And in the snow! With a poinsettia! (No idea why I’d taken that with me.) But who cares! (Well, Carol did as she walked round the corner, almost straight into us, and was all flustered, and said “don’t mind me” five times, which made me really mind her, and then she tripped over the plant and then over Colin.)

I had to have a quiet sit-down when I got back to process it all. Naomi kept asking why I was grinning like I was watching a new Harry Styles video.

Then Fred came round, and I introduced him to my plant (he named it Stemi Lovato). He was still wearing his onesie from the day before. I asked if he’d taken it off at any point and…well, he was vague to say the least. He loved his present (ten packets of Jaffa Cakes cunningly arranged in the shape of an X). Then it was the usual—sofa cushions on the floor and bundling up under my duvet, Mum and Nay under another one. We stuck on the old Gavin & Stacey Christmas special and played games and ate every edible present, even though we were already stuffed and, well…days just don’t get better. (Even if the main game we played was trying to ignore the noises Colin made as he deflated.)

I’m still smiling now…ten days later.

I have never looked after ANYTHING like I have Stemi Lovato. Stemi is basically my and Woody’s first child.

Which brings me to…QUESTIONS. Is Stemi still aliving? And thriving?

Did Woody let you keep his hoodie? Does it still smell of him? (A.k.a., heaven.)

Ruby—please tell me she made it into this year’s pantomime?!

And finally…

I know every year, you say you’re going to make Christmas better than the year before, but srsly, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! You better have started planning already!

So…that’s it. END OF THIS YEAR’S CARD.

Happy Christmas! Go give Mum a hug and tell her you love her, and then you know what to do…

PUT THIS UP AND OFFICIALLY LAUNCH CHRISTMAS. HAPPY HOLIDAAAAAAYS!!!

Holly (from last year) (a.k.a. Christmas past)

PS: Mum mentioned she’d always wanted a calendar with pics of the family on—present idea?!

PPS: Get more Twiglets. Or hide a box. Turns out Fred panic eats them when he can’t figure out who he is in the Post-it game.

PPPS: Although Colin pretends to be lazy, he’s surprisingly good at mountaineering up a table. PUT EDIBLE THINGS HIGHER.