“Elle is the one that made crisps come out of Holly’s nose, remember?” Ruby was zooming in and out on the photo.

“Sadly I do. And believe me, I’ve tried to forget…a lot.”

“And this is 1994. The year of ‘the big snow’?” Ruby laughed—this village was so dull, people still spoke about that year like it was folklore.

I flicked to another picture. “Just look at her?”

Fred squinted at my phone. “Okay, in a totally neutral observer way, I can see that yes, she looks like a supermodel.”

“But that’s what her whole life is like.” I mouthed perfection.

“I mean, it’s clear she’s a big fan of waffles. And nails. And nails that are holding waffles. But that didn’t answer my question. Why is she posting about Little Marsh?”

“Erm.” I actually didn’t have an answer for him. In all the Woody excitement, I hadn’t bothered reading the actual caption. I passed Fred my phone, and he read it out loud.

“‘Hey, guys!’” He put on his best American accent. It was fair to say it was terrible. “‘First things first. Could this picture BE any cuter? And no need to reply in the comments—we all know the answer is no (although you know I always love your comments, so who am I to stop you?) So…we all know Christmas is a magical time, right?! Well, this year I’ve accepted the ultimate challenge from @DoveAllLove to see if I could pull off my own Christmas miracle, Vanessa Huggens style.’”

“Hudgens,” Ruby corrected. “Show some respect.”

“Annnyywaaaaay,” Fred continued. “‘I’ve been nominated in her #FestiveFifteen challenge—to try and be the first to get 15,000 new followers before Christmas, all kicking off when I do my first #FestiveFifteen post on December 16! Can I do it? Who knows? ’”

Fred physically did the emojis, although he struggled a little with the trees. ‘(C’mon, who wouldn’t want to see more of me in @thingsthepeakgirlsdo ) So…I’m going BIG.’

Fred paused.

“‘Dot dot dot dot dot. Can you feel the drama?! Cos I’ve got a question…’”

He looked up from the screen. “She wrote that, by the way. That wasn’t a tension ad-lib.”

“‘Are any of my lovely UK followers—which is where this cute pic is from—up for a Christmas swap? Yup. You heard right. You come and hang in New Jersey, and I’ll head to your side of the Atlantic? And, of course, I’ll be sharing the whole thing right here…’”

But I’d stopped listening. A Christmas swap with a random? Just because someone had tagged her into a challenge? Elle’s life was ridiculous.

“Anyone thinking what I’m thinking?” I could feel a semi-impossible plan brewing.

Ruby scrunched her eyebrows. “This is your chance to go to New York?”

I loved Ruby, but I had to splutter with the hilariousness of her thinking that could ever happen.