And, HELLO, best-ever surprise! I’d snuck back early and pegged up matching onesies—one for everyone, each with their initial on. They’d taken weeks! Sure, I do agree with Fred, that on reflection, seven full-length body shapes swaying in the dark garden was kind of creepy. BUT after I’d persuaded the twins to stop screaming and come back out, everyone was dead impressed and pulled them on. Not to blow my own Christmas trumpet here, but we looked A-May-Zing. I really nailed my yearly “Christmas Cracker” surprise. The group photo was perfection. (Mum has already put it on the fridge—over the one of Naomi passing her driving test. Hahaha.) The only one not in it was Colin. I’d crafted his onesie from an old jumper but had sort of forgotten dogs had four legs…and a head. So, basically, I’d made him an elaborate giant sock.

ANYWAY.

Mum and New Boyfriend drank mulled wine and chatted loudly about the heat burning off the alcohol (clearly a LIE, due to the volume at which they were talking about it), and Ruby, Fred, and I escaped up to my room for the most sacred of festive traditions. Watching Elf. Saaantaaaaa!!!!! We are word perfect. This year, Ruby and Fred went next-level with their attempt at recreating the escalator scene. Rubes was, of course, amazing, and Fred was…well, Fred. I don’t think he’ll ever attempt the splits again—or maybe not even enjoy normal walking judging by how he hobbled out. We swapped presents—Fred’s looked very much like two Toblerones end to end. (SPOILER ALERT: You can imagine how excited I was when it turned out to be…two Toblerones superglued end to end. My friends are THE BEST.) Then everyone left, and it was just Mum, me, and Nay. So we hung our stockings on the stairs and went to bed.

And OH. MY. JINGLE. BELLS.

Christmas Day went and got even better?!

I got up early (the incentive of pre-8 a.m. Toblerone is a powerful thing) to surprise Mum by doing Christmas breakfast, but she was already up. In full Ms. Santa dress!! I unveiled this year’s Christmas playlist, and we danced around the kitchen as we waited for Naomi to get up (which took forever, despite me walking outside her door really loudly four times). Then it was opening stockings and selection boxes. Mum still acts surprised when she gets her big sports sock stuffed with things as if we haven’t been doing that for years, but I guess that’s part of the tradition now too!