Colin was so excited to see me, he ran into a door. And Mum’s Colin was really sweet—he’d made a welcome-home banner for us when we got back. Sure, it was black-and-white and looked like a hipster coffee shop sign, but it was the thought that counted. And, oh my Christmas puddings—did he and Mum love their present?!? When they opened the sign for the new house, they kept holding each other’s hands and giving each other weird misty looks before hugging me and telling me how special I was. Obvs the even better thing was that Naomi’s present of a wood carving of an elephant was nowhere near as good, even if it was for charity. (I shouldn’t have enjoyed that so much—but then again, I shouldn’t eat my whole selection box before 10 a.m. on Christmas Day. And I still do. Every year.)

They’ve already taken the sign to Col’s—apparently it will be the first thing they decorate with. All we need is an offer on the house, but someone’s interested, so fingers crossed.

Oh, and the twins LOVED their present even more.

Top tip-off from Elle.

Naomi looked a little confused at the two defrosting soggy bags under Jenny-Fir Lopez (this year’s tree who overachieved in every aspect), but when they opened them, it all made sense. Well, as much sense as chicken nuggets could.

After dinner (OMG, Colin does mashed potato AND roasties AND totally off-piste Yorkshire puddings—I’ve seen a new side to him), we FaceTimed the Millers. Pete and Jess had rushed back so they could be together on the 25th and, even better, Dottie was home with them too! The old people’s home had had a change of heart and residents had been allowed to leave for Christmas Day after all—maybe Charl had just had too much mulled wine at the party?!

They all loved the presents I’d left and had on the onesies, so we all matched each other on the call. Except Nick, as obviously I’d made it back in the day, when I thought he was a six-year-old. He had it on his arm though. High-five us on a new tradition, two sides of the Atlantic! I’d stayed on after to speak to Elle—and then Nick.

Even though I’d only been gone just over a day, it was still the best seeing them. Nick and I had one of those conversations which is a lot of smiling and not many words, and if I weren’t me I’d think we were gross. But I am me, so I can confirm it was amazing, and I’m still as into him two weeks after I left. Maybe even more. He’d watched Elf in my honour. Twice!! When I closed my laptop, I actually licked it. TELL NO ONE.