“It’s cold, isn’t it?” (Fred.)

“Have we given Colin pee anxiety by watching him?” (Me.)

“Probably.” (Fred.)

The pee really did go on for an alarming amount of time—Colin stopped and started at least six times. Then we walked back to the house and dropped Colin off.

But I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Fred. Not now that I’d told him how I’d felt. Not now that I had nothing left to lose.

I was glad I did it though—even though nothing had come of it.

Even though saying goodbye for real in just over fourteen hours was going to be extra hard. In fact, we’d made a pact—whatever happened in the next day, neither of us could use the G-word.

And seeing as we couldn’t say it, we’d decided that meant that the evening couldn’t be over yet. So we went to see if we could sneak in to see Ruby in the pantomime again.

And we did.

And Fred laughed even louder than before.

And Temi gave us a hidden wave when she was onstage.

And this time I knew the parts where to join in.

And we told Ruby how great she was, and Temi grabbed me after to give me a Christmas card, just like Fred had said. My first real one this year.

And Fred walked me home for the second time in one evening. And he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, even though I had no answer. And we still didn’t talk about what I had said.

And it had started snowing again—and I’m not sure why, but it looked way cuter over here. Was I getting romantic over frozen water now? Wow, that boy really must have done something to me.

And despite the walk home being quite long, it took not enough time at all.

And Fred said, “Ta-ra,” and, “see you tomorrow,” as we couldn’t say the other word—plus he knew anything super-British made me smile.

And I had supper with Sophie and Colin and the twins. And it wasn’t nuggets, much to their disappointment.

And then I came up to my room to figure out what on earth just happened.

And now I can’t stop replaying it. And…

I sat up. This was no good.

I had hardly any time left here. Going over and over it was not going to cut it. Saying not-goodbye to Fred wasn’t enough.

I pulled on my coat—checking it wasn’t Sophie’s—and my scarf. And then took it off, went upstairs, swapped my sweater for one of Holly’s that said “Jingle My Bells,” and wrapped up all over again.

Not going to lie. It looked cuter than I thought. Even with my hair pulled up.

As I headed out, I looked at my mentions. Ha.

People were losing their minds. Guess I had gone slightly off brand.