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Chapters (45)
  1. Cover
  2. Blame Iton Paris
  3. Copyright Notice
  4. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  5. Book One
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Seven
  13. Eight
  14. Nine
  15. Ten
  16. Eleven
  17. Twelve
  18. Thirteen
  19. Fourteen
  20. Fifteen
  21. Sixteen
  22. Seventeen
  23. Eighteen
  24. Nineteen
  25. Twenty
  26. Twenty-one
  27. Book Two
  28. Twenty-two
  29. Twenty-three
  30. Twenty-four
  31. Twenty-five
  32. Twenty-six
  33. Twenty-seven
  34. Twenty-eight
  35. Twenty-nine
  36. Thirty
  37. Thirty-one
  38. Thirty-two
  39. Thirty-three
  40. Thirty-four
  41. Thirty-five
  42. Thirty-six
  43. Thirty-seven
  44. Thirty-eight
  45. Thirty-nine

Two days after I left. So just when I was heading back to the U.S., to return to my long-term commitment to obtain a Ph.D., he would be starting on a long-term commitment to Paris, the dream he’d been reaching for ever since he went back to school as an adult and worked his way through by waiting tables. He would be illustrating for the best graphic arts firm in Paris.

“That’s great,” I said. Let’s not think about the future, Laura. Let’s just not think about it.

“They wanted me to start the beginning of August, but I asked if I could start two weeks later, so that I could spend those last two weeks with you,” Sébastien said.

Kam drove back to Germany with an old boyfriend who had come down to pick her up. Adela and Philippe left from the airport, nearly at the same time. I went to the airport with them, toasted them off with airport hot chocolate, and watched them disappear into Charles de Gaulle’s science fiction-style tunnels. I stood there, feeling scared and lonely. I was used to being scared and alone in a foreign country, but this was different. Usually the scared, lonely feeling was at the start of an adventure, when I’d first arrived and knew no one. Usually, I exploited the feeling by exploring, by doing everything everywhere until I knew people and we could keep having fun. Now I was scared and lonely in a country I knew. I’d already explored Paris. Sure, there was always more stuff to see, but I’d about had my dose. I was starting to crave the English language. Plus, now I was staying on for love, a far scarier reason than adventure.

“So how can you go at this no holds barred like that?” I asked Sébastien. “Doesn’t it scare you, to know I’m leaving in August? Aren’t you afraid of getting hurt?”

“Of course, I’m scared. But I know what happens when you rein yourself in,” he answered. “I’ve seen lots of my friends do it, and I understand they want to protect themselves, but they miss so much. When you block out a relationship out of fear, you lose out on the world. I’ve taken some knocks, and I got really hurt with Claire, you know. But I would still rather lower my defenses and risk things than block out life.”