A thin layer of fog hangs above the ground, a companion to the stark grey sky. Spring is supposed to be bright and colorful, but here, March is a palette of greys, blues, and deep greens. From what I’ve seen of it so far, Pender Falls is beautiful in a way that feels heavy and haunting. The promise of buried memories lingers around every corner, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to uncover them.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Sofia turns to me when we pull onto a main road and stop at a traffic light. “If you need anything, you can get the office to call me,” she says. “I’ll have my cell on me all day. Audrey will pick you up after school. Or earlier, if need be.”

“I know.” She’s reassured me of this fact multiple times since last night, making it clear that I can reach out if the day becomes too overwhelming, but it doesn’t make me feel any more at ease.

Whether I last the entire day or only five minutes, I’ll feel the burning urge to vomit the entire time regardless.

“Are you eager to get back to work?”

Sofia seems caught off guard by the question and straightens in her seat. “I have a lot to catch up on. My boss has been very accommodating of me taking so much time off.”

“That didn’t really answer the question.”

“I feel restless being away from work,” she says. “But I’ll also feel restless thinking about how it’s going for you at school today.”

The words soften me a bit, though the weight of being a burden on her is troubling.

We arrive at the Pender Falls High parking lot, and I take a deep breath, my knee bouncing. The sight of the plethora of students making their way to the entrance of the old brick building makes me want to disappear into the thick row of trees directly behind it. I wonder how many of them I’m supposed to know, how many of them are my friends. After consulting with Dr. Meyer, Sofia decided it would be best for anyone who isn’t family to give me some space until I could return to school.

“Are you ready?” Sofia asks, straightening the collar of her charcoal blazer.

No.

“I guess so.”