As she begins to make her way back to us, I spring up from my chair, anxiety building in my chest. My palms are suddenly clammy and I feel like I can’t breathe.

“Allie?”

“I just—I can’t do this right now,” I say.

As I weave through the crowd, a tangled mess of emotions forms a vortex inside of me: shame, remorse, jealousy, anger. I don’t understand where they’re all coming from—some are closer to the surface while others feel deeply ingrained, like they’ve been carved into my skin. All I want is a rewind button, a way to turn back time and erase the night I kissed Parker and everything that came after it. I would kill to be anywhere but this stupid party that’s claiming to be something it’s not.

Someone steps in front of me, effectively blocking my path. “Hey, it’s the birthday girl!”

A boy who looks vaguely familiar stands in front of me, hands stuck into his pockets. I want him to move out of my way.

When his greeting receives no response, he continues. “You remember me, right?” No. “I’m Travis. I sit behind you in biology.”

“Oh,” I say. “Hi.”

“Crazy about your accident, huh? You almost died.”

“I know.” I remain deadpan. “I was there.”

He knocks me on the shoulder with his fist amicably. “You survived, though. That’s badass. Anyway, I don’t know if you recall the deal you made with me—”

“I promise you I don’t.”

“—but in freshman year, you said we could make out on your eighteenth birthday. Seeing as that’s today. . . I think you know where this is going.”

My mouth falls open in disgust. “Seriously?”

His hands shoot up in a show of surrender. “I swear I’m not lying.”

“Travis, was it?”

He puffs out his chest proudly. “That’s me.”

“I’ll make out with you when hell freezes over,” I say, smiling sweetly.

“So, next time, then?” he calls as I brush past him.

A wave of irritation pulls me under, and I storm over to the counter, facing off with the bored employee who leans against it in his checkered polo. Fuck sitting on the sidelines. Clearly that’s where all the creeps hang out.

I place my palms on the surface. “Can I get a pair of skates?”

He sighs, begrudgingly straightening his posture. “What size?”