“So, this is where you’re hiding out?”

The sound of Zoe’s voice causes me to flinch and jerk away from the computer screen as she takes the seat next to mine. She sets her container of salad on the desk, leaning closer to my screen with a frown.

“Geez, you scared the shit out of me,” I breathe.

An indecipherable emotion darts across her face. “What are you reading?”

Suddenly I’m hit with how odd I must seem and exit out of the article. “I don’t even know how I got here,” I say. “Fell down a rabbit hole I guess.”

Zoe makes a noise of amusement, though it sounds distant.

“Did you know him?” I ask, gesturing to the screen.

“Not really. He never came back to school after that.”

“Damn,” I say.

“Anyway,” she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder and refocusing on me. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Why didn’t you tell us where you were going?”

“I didn’t think it would matter,” I admit. It’s a more diplomatic way of saying I didn’t know I had to ask for permission. “What’s up?”

“Your eighteenth birthday is next week. We need to celebrate.”

My shoulders immediately tense. I already knew my birthday was coming, it’s scrawled on the calendar in the kitchen—March 21—though it seems my family is afraid to broach the subject. They can probably sense it’s the last thing I care about right now, and I doubt I’ll like whatever Zoe has in mind.

“Celebrate how?” I ask warily.

“With a party. Duh.”

“Do we have to? I’d rather just hang out with you guys.”

“But it’ll be so much fun!” she persists. “I’ll plan the whole thing. You won’t even have to lift a finger.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I say, lowering my voice and glancing around the computer lab. “Who would we even invite? Everyone here looks at me like I came from outer space.”

“They just don’t know how to handle this situation,” Zoe reasons, softening. “They’re not used to seeing you like . . . this.” She gestures to my body, and I look down at it, wondering if I should feel offended.

“Why doesn’t anyone else sit with us in the cafeteria? I don’t think they like me.”

“We’re exclusive. I already explained how the system works. We can’t let just anyone join the group.” Zoe blinks, as if that should be obvious. “Besides, I am excellent at throwing parties. Trust me, people will come.”

I weigh my options, squirming in my seat as Zoe watches me. On the one hand, a party could be a chance to relax and get to know some more people from school. But on the other hand, it could also be a chance to feel even more alienated than I already do.