I give her a small smile, squeezing her shoulder gently before standing up from the bed to help her take her heels off then pull the covers over her body. “Sleep it off.”

“You’re a good sister, Allie,” she says sincerely. “Thanks for coming out with me tonight.”

Warmth makes a home in my stomach, though it’s accompanied by the ever-familiar feeling of guilt. I’m not a good sister. “Anytime.”

I turn the light off, creep out of her bedroom, and shut the door behind me with a gentle click.

I find Mason in the kitchen, sitting on a stool at the island, his fingers drumming on the counter, the low light casting shadows on his face. The movement of his hands stills when he sees me approach, and I hop onto the stool next to him, resting my elbow on the island and my chin in my hand, looking back at him.

“Well,” I start. “Let’s hear it.”

His lips press together in a firm line, and he chews on the inside of his mouth. “I’m really struggling to understand why you thought it was a good idea to go out and get drunk right now,” he says bluntly. “It feels reckless, and we need to stay on our guard. Anything could’ve happened.”

A tired laugh bubbles out of me. “You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

Emotion builds in my chest, settling in my throat and blurring my vision. I stare straight ahead, trying to keep it under control, and Mason waits for me to translate my torrent of thoughts into proper sentences.

“I needed a break from . . . all of this.” I gesture in front of me, as though all of my problems are stacked in a neat pile, and I hate how my voice breaks as I say the words. “Ever since I left the hospital, my life has been a fucking mess. I can’t remember anything before the middle of January, I can’t sleep at night because of nightmares about my supposed best friend trying to kill me, I’m the reason my sister’s relationship is ruined, and I constantly have to bottle it all up and pretend like nothing is wrong.”

I take a second to collect myself, swallowing down my tears and trying to catch them as they fall, unable to look at him. “I just wanted one night—one fucking night—where I could pretend I was a normal human being who didn’t have to deal with any of this, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give me shit for it.”

When I finish speaking, my anger and frustration seem to take up all the space in the room. I knew a breakdown was coming soon, but I’d hoped there wouldn’t be anyone to witness it.