“Nah. Just the double and a shot. Thanks.” Eileen enjoyed using different dialects. This way, if anyone should inquire about her, they would have the accent wrong. Not that it ever happened, but it was always best to use extreme caution on a stakeout.

She observed two women in their sixties entering the opulent office of Live-Life-Long and clicked her second watch to mark the time the ladies began their appointment. An hour later, they exited with very posh-looking shopping bags. In order to glimpse what was inside the bags, Eileen would have to fake a stumble in front of them. Being careful not to knock them over, with skill and agility, Eileen took a pratfall in front of them, landing on her ass. Both women gulped in shock and then dropped their bags to help her.

“Are you all right, love?” cooed the taller of the two.

“Should we call a medic?” the other added.

“No, no. I’m aw right.” Eileen answered, as if she had just gotten off the N train from Coney Island. “This is so embarrassin’. I’m soo sorry.” She brushed herself off but continued to sit on the sidewalk so she could get a good peek in the bags. As the women reached down to help her up off the ground, she noticed beautifully packaged boxes with nothing written on them. Time for small talk.

“I feel ridiculous. Such a klutz. I hope I didn’t cause you to break anything.” She peered into the bags.

“Oh, not at all. Just some special vitamins to keep us young!” The taller woman giggled with delight.

The shorter of the two gave the taller one a sideways embarrassed look.

“Oh, don’t mind her. I keep telling Gladys that if the opportunity is there to feel more youthful, then why not?” said the taller woman.

Gladys chimed in. “Yeah, but it’s very expensive, and I’m not feeling any different, Lydia.”

“Gladys and Lydia. I’m Dorothy. Guess I ain’t in Kansas anymore. Not like I ever been.” Eileen cackled, trying to keep the conversation going.

“Good heavens, no, you are not. Are you sure you’re all right? Can we get you some tea? Water?” Lydia offered.

“Tea? Like, seriously?” Eileen kept up the accent.

“Of course, dear. There is a place right across the square. Come along. We don’t want our American cousin to think we’re inhospitable.” Lydia was obviously the kinder of the two.

Gladys interjected, “We don’t have a lot of time, love, but we don’t want to leave you until we know you’re perfectly all right.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna put you out. I already took up too much of your time. And I’m really okay,” Eileen/Dorothy replied.

“We have about thirty minutes before we need to catch the Tube. Come along.” Lydia took Eileen by the elbow and guided her to the tea shop.