“Neither am I, but Maeve got off on it. She enjoyed inflicting pain on others, whipping them until they bled or strapping them down, and doing whatever she wanted. For her, it was all about control, except there was one person she couldn’t control…which was me. That led to countless arguments until I’d finally had enough. I bade her farewell and left her with Aldrich’s lot, convinced like never before that I would not, under any circumstances, fall in love again.”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

Bennett narrowed her eyes. “Quite well. Why do you ask?”

“Because love isn’t something you can control. You’ve proved that. How many women have burned you, yet someone comes into your life, and without warning, it just happens. You can’t stop it.”

“It’s not about stopping it. It’s about not acting on it,” Bennett said, her brow creasing. “It’s about remembering the pain that comes when your heart is broken and when everything you imagine to be true becomes false. It’s about walking around in a funk for decades, replaying in your mind every second of every minute of every day spent with someone you loved, trying to figure out what you did wrong, and realizing it was because you had faith. Faith in promises made by those you loved, yet as soon as they were turned, they became monsters or killed themselves, subsequently putting their death or the deaths they caused on my shoulders. Faith in believing love could be enough, that the passage of time wouldn’t sway someone’s feelings, yet it does, and it did…and it hurt.” Bennett exploded out of bed and glared at Ruby. “You’re right. I can’t stop love from happening. I can, however, make sure I’m fully prepared to walk away from any relationship when I sense even the inkling of something more than lust, so if you think you and I are going any further—”

“I don’t,” Ruby said, raising her voice. “Bennett, my eyes are open. Okay? We’ve talked about this. I’m in it for the sex because it’s good, and it’s fun. I know you’re not in love with me. You don’t have any room in your heart for me.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” Bennett marched to the door, stopping for a moment to look back. “And I’ll be damned if I ever have a hand in turning another woman into something unrecognizable, because that’s what’s excruciating. To see someone with so much life in them, someone so vibrant, so beautiful, so smart, and so goddamned witty, suddenly morph into a barbarian right before my very eyes. I’d sooner die than let that happen again.”

Chapter Thirty-Five