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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

I groaned louder, covering my face with my hands.

From the other side of the door, I heard a quiet chuckle.

“There are worse things,” he said.

“Name one.”

There was a pause, and I could practically hear him thinking. “Do you need⁠—?”

“No,” I cut him off immediately, peeking through my fingers in horror. “Do not finish that sentence.”

Another chuckle. “Right.”

I forced myself to breathe, trying to calm down.

This was fine. I could handle this. I just needed to⁠—

I didn’t have anything to handle this.

Oh. God.

“Blake?”

“Yeah?”

“I… I don’t have anything.”

Silence.

Then, “I’ll figure it out.”

“How?” I asked, my voice rising in panic.

“Let me handle it.”

“Blake…” I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. “This is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me. Ever.”

“It’s not embarrassing.”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s literally a biological function.”

“You’re a biological function,” I shot back.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Shut up.”

He laughed, and for the first time in months, it felt like things were back to how they used to be between us. Maybe that should’ve pissed me off. Maybe I should’ve been mad that this was the thing that finally got him to talk to me again.

But I was too busy dying to care.

He was still laughing as I heard him walking toward the door. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

The door swung shut behind him, leaving me alone with my racing thoughts. I stayed in the stall, forehead pressed against the door, while Blake figured things out.

I had no idea what that meant.

I didn’t want to know.

Minutes dragged by like hours. My brain was still catching up, reeling from the fact that this was actually happening. That Blake had noticed before I did. That he was out there, right now, probably pacing like an idiot, while I stood here trying not to die of humiliation.

A few minutes later, the door creaked open again, and Blake’s voice drifted in. “Got ‘em.”

I lifted an eyebrow skeptically. “Define ‘got ‘em.’”

“Some girl had extras in her locker,” he said, sounding way too proud of himself. “She didn’t ask questions.”

Kill me now.

“Just—” I exhaled sharply, willing my dignity to stay intact. “Slide them under.”

A second later, a hand appeared under the stall door with a small pack of pads. I grabbed them, feeling my entire soul leave my body. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

I ripped open the pack with way too much force. “Yeah, I do.”

Blake just laughed. Laughed. Unbelievable.

I didn’t know why I was surprised at this point.

“Take your time,” he said, as if he wasn’t the slightest bit bothered by any of this. “I’ll be right here when you’re done.”