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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

“Not a big deal? She’s out there crying because of you, and she was screaming my name like it’s my fault.”

“She’s gone,” I repeated, not meeting her gaze. “It’s over.”

“Blake, what did you do? What did you say to her?”

“It’s not what I did,” I strangled out. “It’s what I couldn’t do.”

I made the mistake of looking at her then. The second our eyes met, something cracked open inside my chest.

We stared at each other, the silence between us somehow louder than anything Sydney had just screamed.

“I’m tired,” I sighed. “Just drop it, Beverly.”

“That’s not an answer.”

I laughed dryly. “Well, it’s all I’ve got right now.”

“Blake,” she said softly. “Just tell me what happened.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of everything crashing down on me at once. “I told her the truth. Or at least, I tried to.”

“And what truth is that?”

That I feel like I’m drowning.

That my heart aches in a way that has become too familiar.

That your presence feels like both salvation and destruction.

But I didn’t say any of that.

Instead, I let the words fall from my lips before I lost my nerve. “That I never loved her. Because I was too busy loving you.”

Beverly’s eyes softened, but there was something else there, too—something that looked a lot like pain.

For a moment, I thought she might say something.

For a moment, I thought she might stay.

But instead, she turned.

And then she was gone.

BEVERLY

I grew up in a quiet neighborhood, the kind where people nodded in passing and Mrs. Martínez would leave baskets of homemade muffins on front porches. Our house wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was ours—a place where love was louder than money, where care was measured not in material things but in time and attention. My parents were good people—respected, known, and trusted. I felt it in every packed lunch my mother made, in every bedtime story my father read, even when his eyes were heavy with exhaustion, and in the way they held me when I scraped my knee. I was spoiled. Not with trips to Disney World or endless piles of toys, but with love. With the certainty that I would never face the world alone.

My father made sure of that.

He wasn’t just a dad; he was a protector. Not just of me, but of our entire town. A real-life superhero, I called him, though he never wore a cape. He wore a badge instead, a symbol of duty and justice. It gleamed on his chest every time he walked out the door, and I remember staring at it, mesmerized.