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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

Then she took a slow turn through the room, trailing her hand along the mirror, her eyes scanning every inch like she was trying to memorize it. “Kind of weird, huh?”

“Weird how?” I asked.

“That you bought this for me. That you kept it for two years. That you never told me.”

I sat down on the stool, the wood creaking under my weight. “We’re pretty good at weird, B.”

She smiled at that, even though she tried not to. Then silence—the kind of silence that says talk to me but also don’t you dare.

She folded her arms, her gaze drifting back to the mirrors. “So, what now?” Her voice was quiet. Careful.

“Now you say something. Yell. Throw something at me.”

Her mouth twitched—barely. “Are we really going to do this?”

“Do what?”

“Tiptoe around it,” she said. She didn’t sound angry. Just tired. “This is the part where we tiptoe around what happened, right?”

I blinked. “You mean the part where I walked out like an idiot, or the part where you didn’t come out of the storage room while they dragged me out in cuffs?”

Her jaw tensed. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make it sound like I wanted that to happen.”

I exhaled slowly. “I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

“Okay,” I admitted. “Maybe I did. Maybe I was a little pissed you let them take me without saying a single word.”

“I couldn’t move, Blake,” she said, voice low. “I was frozen. You don’t get to punish me for how I handled that moment.”

“I didn’t mean to punish you. But…you didn’t say anything. Not once. Not a text. Not a letter. Not a—” I stopped myself.

Her eyes locked on mine. “You left me first.”

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the weight of her words settle like a stone in my chest.

“I know,” I sighed. “I know, B.” I looked down at my hands. “But I was stupid and grieving and convinced that I was poison. And you—” I stopped, the words catching. “You were the only thing I ever wanted that felt good. And I was terrified I’d ruin you, too. I didn’t expect you to come out or⁠—”

“You shouted my name like you did.”

I let out a breath that felt like it’d been stuck in my lungs for years. “Yeah, well. Hope’s a hell of a thing.”

“You left. You always leave, Blake.”

I met her blue eyes across the room, bitterness creeping in. “And you hid. When I needed you to come out, you didn’t.”

Beverly glared, then walked over to the stereo system I’d set up a few weeks ago. She fiddled with the knobs, and the opening beat of If You Had My Love by Jennifer Lopez filled the room.

Then she started to move.