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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

I’d been at ChimeIn for two weeks now, and I’d stuck to the floors and rooms I was assigned. Never wandered. Never explored. There was one room down the hall with a frosted glass door I hadn’t gone into yet. The only one without a nameplate.

The only one that seemed off-limits.

Curiosity got the better of me.

I walked slowly, my footsteps muffled by the thick black carpet, and pushed open the door without really thinking about it.

My heart hitched painfully in my chest, faltering for a split second before it slammed back into rhythm—harder, faster. My body wasn’t mine anymore. It was heat and static and memory.

“Blake,” I whispered, the name escaping before I could stop it.

Behind a desk. Wearing a navy button-down rolled up to his elbows. Hair longer than I remembered. Head bent over a file, eyes flicking across the page with that same laser focus I’d seen a thousand times before.

First came the shock. Like stepping into a memory you swore you’d buried. Like someone had reached into my chest and yanked my ribs wide open. Then came the heat. That awful, electric heat that starts in the gut and climbs its way up like a fever. Anger, maybe. Or worse—longing. Followed immediately by the bone-deep, impossible need to touch him.

Two years. Two years of silence, distance, aching.

Of all the things I thought I might find behind that door, he wasn’t one of them. He looked older now. Fuller in the shoulders. More put-together. But still Blake. Still the boy who once made me grilled cheese at 3 a.m. because I had cramps. Still the boy who used to read Arabic under our oak tree with the kind of reverence that broke my heart. Still the boy who carried me out of the cafeteria when I bled through my jeans. Still the boy who kept a Polaroid of me tucked inside his book. The boy who kissed my forehead before he disappeared. The boy who left a hole so deep in my chest I wasn’t sure it would ever close.

The boy who broke my heart with his silence.

The man who shattered it with his absence.

I didn’t realize I was gripping the folder so tightly until it bent in my hand. Blake was reading something—until he wasn’t. Until his eyes lifted and locked onto mine, probably expecting Maxine.

My breath hitched. My pulse roared in my ears.

Blake’s mouth parted slightly. His fingers stopped moving.

We stared at each other for what felt like lifetimes.

Something in me wanted to turn and run. Something else—something louder—ached to cross the room and press my hand against his chest just to make sure he was real.

His fingers curled around the edge of the desk.