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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

On the first day of school, the hallways smelled of floor wax and cheap cologne, buzzing with the murmur of voices, occasional laughter, and the rhythmic clang of locker doors slamming shut.

It was overwhelming—not in the way that made me want to shut down, but in the way that made me hyper-aware of everything around me.

I walked a step behind Beverly and Tiffany, my hands shoved into the pockets of my cargo shorts. The fabric was stiff and slightly scratchy—new, just like my Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt, which still smelled faintly of the store. Mom had bought it for me along with a pair of Converse, the same ones Beverly wore.

Beverly’s backpack hung casually off her shoulder, covered in a mix of stickers: a peace sign, a Nirvana band logo, a “Good Vibes” one, a heart-shaped one with the word “love” scrawled across it, and another boldly proclaiming, “Don’t Follow Me.”

A contradiction. She liked being followed.

She had on a plain white T-shirt and a pair of denim jeans, not too tight but not baggy either. Her blonde hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders, with a simple baby pink elastic band pulling back the strands away from her face.

Tiffany, in contrast, had gone all out. She wore a pink blouse with delicate lace trim, paired with a flared pleated skirt. Her white knee-high socks completed the look, and her hair, styled in curls and tied up with a pink ribbon, bounced with every step.

I kept my head down as we moved through the crowd, listening to their conversation without adding to it. Tiffany had been talking nonstop, bouncing from one topic to the next—her summer vacation, the teachers she hoped we wouldn’t get, the cute boy she saw near the lockers. I tuned most of it out until I heard my name.

“…just reads. Like, all the time.” Tiffany’s voice was light, but there was an underlying edge to it.

I recognized that tone.

I’d heard it before.

It was the one people used when they didn’t want to be outright rude but still needed to make it clear you were different, that you didn’t quite belong. It was an observation framed as a flaw, designed to sound like nothing at all.

Beverly’s response came immediately, sharp and defensive. “So?” One syllable, clipped, brimming with challenge.

It wasn’t a question—it was a warning.

I noticed the way her posture changed, the way her shoulders squared slightly as she turned to Tiffany.

Tiffany shrugged, unbothered, not even realizing I could hear every word. “I don’t know. It’s just…weird. He barely talks. And he’s always got his nose buried in some book.”

I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to stay silent. Not because I was hurt; Tiffany didn’t matter to me. But Beverly did. And right now, she looked furious.