His expression twisted. “You just don’t get it,” he said quietly. “You’re better off without me.”

I shook my head violently, unable to understand what he was saying or why he was saying it.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to grab his face, shake him, and make him understand that I didn’t care what my dad had said. That I didn’t care what Blake believed about himself.

“I’m not better off without you,” I choked out. “I need you. You are the best person I know. And you don’t get to leave me. Not like this. Not because you think it’s what’s best for me.”

Blake shook his head.

“I love you,” I continued. “That should be enough. That⁠—”

“It’s not,” he cut in, his voice hoarse.

A broken, helpless sound escaped me. “Don’t. Don’t do this, Blake. Just come back inside. We’ll figure it out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out, okay? I already did the math. This is what makes sense.”

“We’re not an equation,” I nearly screamed, feeling utterly helpless. “You can’t logic your way out of this. You can’t just…erase yourself from this family, from my life, and expect me to be okay with it. I need you, Blake. We made promises together. You can’t break them now. You can’t leave me now.”

“Beverly,” he warned.

I shook my head wildly, unwilling to let him go. To let us go. My hands trembled as I reached up to wipe away the tears that had begun to spill over.

Blake released a slow breath before cupping my face, his thumb brushing my cheek. “You don’t need me. You never did. You’re going to be fine, Beverly. Just like you were before me.”

I let out a broken sob, shaking my head over and over again, refusing to accept this. “Stop. Stop saying that. Don’t lie to me. You know that’s not true. You know that I’m not okay.”

“But I can’t be here,” he snapped. “I can’t be around you.”

My heart was ripping apart from the inside out.

“You think you’re the only one hurting? I can’t even breathe in this house anymore. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t do any of it, Beverly. I’m drowning. And I can’t watch you drown too.”

“You think I can?” I snapped back. “You think I want to walk through this house every day knowing he’s not coming back?”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I can’t be what you need.”

“You are what I need. You’re all I need, ” I cried out, grabbing his shirt, desperate to keep him here. “You’re all I have left.”

He stood frozen as I sobbed against him.

I kissed him, but his lips wouldn’t move.