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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

Blake and Dad were supposed to be home an hour ago.

This had to be a bad sign, right? I tried to picture Dad raising his voice at Blake in the middle of a restaurant, scolding him for what we’d done, but it didn’t add up. Dad didn’t have it in him to make Blake feel uncomfortable, let alone upset him.

I told myself I was being ridiculous. That they were fine.

But something didn’t feel right.

I checked my phone again. Nothing.

“They’ll be back soon,” Mom said, her voice calm, though her fingers nervously fidgeted with the magazine pages. “You know how they get once they start talking.”

I forced a nod. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

But I wasn’t sure I believed it.

Because Blake always texted me. He always sent something, even when we were barely speaking.

But tonight? Nothing. Nothing but the slow, creeping dread curling inside in my stomach.

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing heavier with each breath. Desperately, I shoved my hands under my thighs, willing them to stop shaking.

Mom sighed and set the magazine down. “Maybe they stopped to talk to someone.”

I nodded, even though my mind wasn’t convinced. “Yeah, that’s probably it.”

She offered a small smile, pushing herself up from the chair. “I’m going to make hot chocolate. Do you want⁠—”

The phone rang.

For a split second, relief washed through me.

Dad.

It had to be Dad.

But as Mom reached for the phone, something in me screamed no. Don’t answer it. Don’t pick it up. Let it keep ringing.

Let us stay here in this moment, where everything is still okay.

But Mom was already pressing the receiver to her ear. “Hello?”

The color drained from her cheeks so quickly that I felt dizzy just watching it happen. Her eyes flicked toward me, but they were distant, unfocused, like she was looking through me

My heart skipped a beat, then hammered painfully against my ribs. “Mom?”

Her fingers gripped the phone tighter. “No,” she whispered. “No, that can’t be⁠—”

I watched as her body folded in on itself.

“Mom,” I said, louder now, panic creeping into my voice. “What? What is it?”

The phone slipped from her hand.

I didn’t even realize I was standing until I reached her, catching her just before she could fall. “Mom,” I said again, barely able to breathe. “What happened?”

Her lips parted, but the only thing that came out was a quiet, broken sound.

“Mom,” I begged. “Please. What happened? What⁠—”

Her breath shuddered as she clutched my arms.

My whole body went numb as I watched her, helpless.

Every inch of me screamed for something to make sense of this.