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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

There were other things, too—small gestures of care that weren’t loud or obvious but still managed to make themselves felt. Like how he never let me walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road. If a car sped past too fast, he’d subtly move so I was on the safer side. Or how he always left the last slice of pizza for me, even when I could see the hunger in his eyes. Or the time at the grocery store when I stretched on my toes, reaching for something on the top shelf. Before I could grab it, Blake was already there, plucking it and handing it to me without looking up from the floor. Then there was the time I got sick. It wasn’t anything serious, just a migraine that left me stuck in bed for two days. I barely remember most of it, just the dull ache behind my eyes and the weight of the blankets over me. But I do remember waking up once to find Blake sitting at the edge of my bed, flipping through a book, looking suspiciously like he had been there for a while.

Groggily, I blinked up at him. “What are you doing?”

Without looking up, he answered, “We’re alone.”

That was it. No explanation, no elaboration.

Like that was supposed to answer all my questions.

I frowned, trying to make sense of the situation. “You’ve just…been sitting here?”

A pause. Then a small, almost guilty nod.

I might’ve still been half-asleep, but I understood. We’re alone. Translation: Mom and Dad are at work. I’m staying to check on you.

“Oh,” I murmured as the meaning hit me, my eyelids already drooping again. “Thanks, Blake,” I whispered, smiling softly as sleep slowly claimed me again.

Right before I drifted off, I heard him mutter, “Don’t die.”

Which, for Blake, was practically a love confession.

One afternoon, I was sprawled out on a blanket in the backyard, a Vogue magazine open in my lap, the pages glossy beneath the sunlight. I’d spent the last twenty minutes flipping through the pages, making mental notes of all the Tommy Hilfiger and Calvin Klein ads, imagining how I’d look in one of those crop tops and denim jackets.

Beside me, Tiffany was carefully painting her toenails a pastel pink—the exact shade she swore was the color of the season. I had no reason to doubt her; Tiffany had an encyclopedic knowledge of fashion trends and a personal vendetta against anyone who wore last year’s colors. Her Steve Madden platform sandals sat discarded in the grass next to her, looking like tiny skyscrapers.

Blake, meanwhile, was exactly where Blake always was—leaning against the old oak tree, knees pulled to his chest, a book balanced against them.