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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

I broke off, dragging a hand through my hair in frustration. Blake’s expression didn’t change, but I swore I saw the slightest twitch in his jaw.

I kept going, the alcohol making me too bold. “They think you’re hiding something.” Liar, liar, liar. “And I just wanted you to know that if...” My throat tightened.

I knew I was pushing it. But I was so tired of never knowing.

“I want you to know I would never judge you or anything. I-I know there’s some of those assholes around, but seriously, nowadays it’s normal for people to be—” I couldn’t say the word.

I didn’t want to accuse him of anything.

You had to wait for someone to be ready to open up about it, right?

Blake let out a humorless breath. “Jesus Christ.”

“I mean, it’s just odd,” I said, the words tumbling out of me as I ignored the irritation rolling off him in waves. “You never mention anyone, never date, never⁠—”

“And what, Beverly? Go on. Finish the sentence.”

I winced at his tone. This was stupid. I knew it was stupid.

Blake stared at me for a long second. “You think I’m gay?”

“I don’t know! I just…” I just wanted him to prove me wrong.

I held my breath.

His eyes bore into me, unblinking. “I’m not gay, Beverly.” There was a pause before he continued, the words coming out with a force I wasn’t expecting—like he needed me to understand this as much as he needed to say it. “I like girls. I always have.”

I stared at him because that wasn’t an answer.

Not the answer I wanted.

So I pushed harder. “Then why aren’t you interested in going out? Or flirting? Or⁠—”

Blake shoved to his feet so fast that I stepped back. “Fuck, seriously, B?”

“Watch it,” I warned, feeling small under his stare.

He stepped closer, and I stepped back. Not because I was afraid, but because Blake was angry, and I suddenly felt like I was standing on the edge of something I didn’t understand.

“No, you watch it,” he said, cutting through my drunken haze like a knife. “You don’t get to come in here, drunk off your ass, and start making assumptions about me.”

“I’m not making assumptions. I’m just curious.”

Blake scoffed. “Girls. Always so eager to listen to rumors⁠—”

“No, no, no,” I cut in, feeling defensive. “I’ve noticed it, Blake. I’ve known you for years, and you’ve never shown interest in anyone. It’s weird!”

“Oh, I’m weird now?”

I groaned, dragging both hands through my hair as the tension in my chest began to make my head ache. My thoughts were swirling, alcohol still clouding my judgment.