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Chapters (129)
  1. Full Page Image
  2. Dedication
  3. Dedication
  4. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  5. BLAKE
  6. 1999
  7. BEVERLY
  8. 1
  9. BEVERLY, 1993
  10. 2
  11. BEVERLY, 1993
  12. 3
  13. BEVERLY, 1994
  14. 4
  15. BLAKE, 1994
  16. 5
  17. BEVERLY, 1994
  18. 6
  19. BEVERLY, 1995
  20. 7
  21. BLAKE, 1995
  22. 8
  23. BEVERLY, 1996
  24. 9
  25. BEVERLY, 1997
  26. 10
  27. BLAKE, 1997
  28. 11
  29. BLAKE, 1997
  30. 12
  31. BEVERLY, 1997
  32. 13
  33. BLAKE, 1997
  34. 14
  35. BEVERLY, 1998
  36. 15
  37. BLAKE, 1998
  38. 16
  39. BEVERLY, 1998
  40. 17
  41. BLAKE, 1998
  42. 18
  43. BEVERLY, 1998
  44. 19
  45. BLAKE, 1998
  46. 20
  47. BEVERLY, 1998
  48. 21
  49. BLAKE, 1998
  50. 22
  51. BEVERLY, 1998
  52. 23
  53. BLAKE, 1998
  54. 24
  55. BEVERLY, 1998
  56. 25
  57. BLAKE, 1998
  58. 26
  59. BEVERLY, 1998
  60. 27
  61. BLAKE, 1998
  62. 28
  63. BEVERLY, 1999
  64. 29
  65. BEVERLY, 1999
  66. 30
  67. BLAKE, 1999
  68. 31
  69. BEVERLY, 1999
  70. 32
  71. BEVERLY, 1999
  72. 33
  73. BLAKE, 1999
  74. 34
  75. BEVERLY, 1999
  76. 35
  77. BLAKE, 1999
  78. 36
  79. BEVERLY, 1999
  80. 37
  81. BLAKE, 1999
  82. 38
  83. BLAKE, 1999
  84. 39
  85. BEVERLY, 1999
  86. 40
  87. BEVERLY, 1999
  88. 41
  89. BLAKE, 1999
  90. 42
  91. BEVERLY, 1999
  92. 43
  93. BLAKE, 1999
  94. 44
  95. BEVERLY, 1999
  96. 45
  97. BLAKE, 1999
  98. 46
  99. BEVERLY, 1999
  100. 47
  101. BLAKE, 1999
  102. 48
  103. BEVERLY, 1999
  104. 49
  105. BLAKE, 1999
  106. 50
  107. BEVERLY, 1999
  108. 51
  109. BLAKE, 2000
  110. 52
  111. BEVERLY, 2001
  112. 53
  113. BLAKE, 2001
  114. 54
  115. BEVERLY, 2001
  116. 55
  117. BLAKE, 2001
  118. 56
  119. BEVERLY, 2001
  120. 57
  121. BLAKE, 2001
  122. 58
  123. BEVERLY, 2001
  124. 59
  125. BLAKE, 2001
  126. EPILOGUE
  127. BEVERLY, 2002
  128. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  129. IMPRESSUM

I stared at the clothes she was picking, but I wasn’t really seeing them. “Okay,” I finally said, my voice rougher than I meant it to be. “I’ll come with you. I’ll switch shifts with Liz at the cinema so I can go.”

She stopped dead in her tracks, her hand lingering over a glittery purse. “Blake, it’s fine,” she said softly, but there was something in her eyes that I couldn’t quite decipher. Something guarded. “You don’t have to.”

The air around me suddenly felt thicker, heavier.

“You don’t have to go alone.”

Beverly looked at me, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “I won’t be alone. Tiffany’s going with me.”

“What if something happens? What if⁠—”

“Blake, I appreciate it, I do,” she cut in, and I could see the way she was weighing her words carefully. She glanced away, shifting on her feet. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me. I’m not... I’m not a kid anymore.”

The words hit me like a slap, though she didn’t mean them to.

I was silent for a long time, just watching her, trying to piece everything together. Did she not want me there? Was I smothering her? Embarrassing her? The possibility that she didn’t that she didn’t want me there suddenly made my head spin. Was I being too overprotective? Was she getting sick of me?

Maybe I had messed things up without even realizing it. God, the last thing I wanted was for her to be embarrassed by me.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out at first. I felt like I was sinking, like the ground beneath me was dissolving.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

She didn’t respond right away, and I couldn’t decide if that was worse than just flat-out saying no.

Finally, she spoke, her voice firmer than usual. “I just want to do this on my own, okay?”

It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did.

I took a step back, trying to regain control of my thoughts, but all I could focus on was that sinking feeling in my chest.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” I said, barely hearing myself. “I can’t just let you go by yourself.”

She reached over and squeezed my hand. “I know you’re just trying to help. But I need to try things on my own. I want to drink bad punch and dance and maybe make some mistakes.”

I stared at her, a bitter taste rising in my mouth. “What if I’m making a mistake letting you go without me?”

She sighed, shaking her head like I was missing the point. “Blake. I’ll be fine.”