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Dedication

For everyone who loves with a heart

that bruises easily but beats boldly

Dedication

“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?”

— Albert Einstein

AUTHOR’S NOTE

dear reader,

while this story is a romance, it contains content that may be triggering for some readers.

please note that the content warnings contain spoilers.

love,

BLAKE

1999

“Say something,” Sydney demanded, shoving a Polaroid into my face. It was a blurry snapshot of her at some party, laughing and leaning into some guy’s chest, his arm possessively wrapped around her waist.

I stepped out of the shower, water dripping down my chest, barely registering the picture she waved around like a warning. “Syd, it’s just a picture.”

“Just a picture?” she repeated, her voice rising in disbelief. “That’s all you have to say, Blake? You don’t even ask who he is, you don’t ask what this means. Nothing.” She let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “You know what’s funny? I thought this would piss you off. I thought you’d see this and—” She shook her head, swallowing hard. “But you don’t care, do you?”

I snatched a white towel from the rack, wrapping it loosely around my waist before finally turning to face her. “Do you want me to scream at you, Sydney? Is that what this is?”

She glared at me, clutching the Polaroid in her hand.

“You want me to lose it?” I asked. “Start throwing accusations like that will somehow change things? Because if that’s what you want, then just say the word. I can do that. I can yell and play the role, the jealous, furious boyfriend. I can ask all the questions you expect me to ask. But let’s not pretend that’s what this is about.”

Her brown eyes narrowed into unforgiving slits.

“Unbelievable,” she muttered, pacing the small space between the sink and the door. “You just don’t feel anything, do you?”

“If you’re hoping to make me jealous, it’s not working.”

For a moment, the fire in her eyes flickered. “So that’s it, huh? I’ve spent weeks trying to be patient, trying to be good enough, but I’m done. I’m done trying to make you want me.”

I should have said something, but the words I needed to speak were trapped in my throat, refusing to come out.

Sydney was trying to play it tough, but I knew better.

She was waiting for me to fight for her.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I sighed, not even recognizing my own voice anymore. It sounded tired. Defeated. Maybe even cold.