I pull my coat around me because it’s noticeably cooler now and tap my fingers on my knee, hooking my nail into the slight rip there and tugging on the loose fibre. It unravels slightly and a bigger hole appears in the denim. Sort of appropriate for the way I feel this morning.

Voices sound in the distance and I push myself closer to the tree. I don’t want to talk to anyone at the moment. But then equally, I sort of do. I want to talk inanities so I can push away the look on Zeb’s face when he woke up this morning in bed with me. The shock and shame were written all over him, and, for a minute, I’d wanted to shrivel up and die. Was he wishing I was Patrick or just wishing I was anyone but me? The thought makes bile rise in my throat. I’d gone to sleep so happy wrapped around him, and to be cast aside like this is startling.

My phone vibrates, and when I look down I can see a message from Zeb. Actually, I can see five messages from him. I wonder if he’s managed to get back into the room without embarrassment. I hope he hasn’t.

Having the phone in my hand, though, reminds me that there is one person I can always talk to, and I pull up his contact details. The ring tone sounds and then the call connects, and I hear the lovely Welsh tones of my best friend.

“Jess?” he says. I can hear what sounds like cutlery and the radio in the background, so he and his boyfriend are probably having breakfast.

“So, hypothetically if I’d gone away for the week with my boss to pretend to be his boyfriend and ended up sleeping with him and then falling for him, would you say that was wise?” I say in a jumble of words.

There’s a long silence. “And how hypothetical would that be?” he says slowly.

I hum contemplatively. “Yeah, no, not at all hypothetical now that I come to think about it.”

There’s a longer silence and when he speaks next, he sounds incredulous. “Your boss being Zeb?” His voice goes high. “Oh my God, you fucked Zeb.”

“Yep,” I say glumly. “And it was bloody amazing, but I think he’s still in love with his ex and his ex is definitely in love with him, but he’s committed to marrying this woman so he can have children and please his parents and so he wants Zeb for a bit on the side.”

“Have you wandered onto the set of Downton Abbey and just not realized?”

I snort out a laugh. “Eli,” I say in a warning voice.

“Well, sorry but really?” He pauses. “And you fucked Zeb and it was brilliant?”

“The skies opened and the angels wept.”

“Zeb?” he says again.