I stare at him. “I have never thought of you as a kid.” He looks at me with one eyebrow lifting slowly, and I smile. “Okay, I tried to think of you as one.”

“Why?”

The question is bald and not one I’m prepared to answer. It’ll lead to things that really can’t happen no matter how much I’m growing to want them. I want his hand back in mine, I want to kiss those plump, puffy lips. I want to fuck him. But as he’s my employee, and happier and twenty years younger than me, I’m not going to do any of those things.

“Sometimes habit is not a good thing,” I say. I shake my head. “I was with Patrick for a long time but that doesn’t mean it was good. Max is right. I do feel more alive with you around. I don’t want you to change. I like that you’re inappropriate sometimes. I never got the chance to do that, so it’s nice to listen to.”

“I don’t want to be a clown to you.”

The statement is quiet and firm, and I look at him in amazement. “You could never be that, Jesse.” I hesitate. “I guess the truth is that I admire you.”

“You do?” The astonishment is palpable in his voice.

I sigh. “I do. You’re so full of life. You take chances and throw yourself into things. You care about people.”

“You care about people too. You care about far too many people, if you ask me.”

I shrug, suddenly becoming aware that we’re standing very close to each other. His eyes examine my face and his full lips are so close. I let my hands fall and step back slightly, seeing the faint look of disappointment he can’t hide. Fuck, this is getting into quicksand territory very quickly.

“I do care,” I say slowly. “But sometimes I don’t want to. Sometimes I’m tired of problems and solutions.” I shrug awkwardly. “My father was a bit of a character.” He tries to look surprised, but he’s not a good actor, and I sigh. “Max told you, didn’t he? I saw him talking very intently. Interfering wanker.”

He steps close again, and I inhale the scent of green tea on his skin. “He wasn’t being disloyal.”

“Of course he wasn’t. He’s my family.” I sigh again. “Oh well, at least I don’t have to go into the nitty-gritty.”

“You can though,” he says softly. “I’m sure your nitty-gritty is very different from his.”