I make my way through the office, laying Felix’s breakfast on his desk as I go. He’s standing unloading his bag onto the desk, and he grins widely. “It’s like having a very buff houseboy.”

“Thrilled as I am to have my whole existence reduced to my body and food-providing abilities, I’m going to have to pull myself away from your conversation.”

“Your loss.” He takes a sip of his coffee and sighs happily. “Except that it really isn’t because I’ve just rolled out of an empty bed and yours is full of your young totty.”

“Felix, someone someday is going to take a whack at that equilibrium of yours. I can’t wait.”

“That sounded slightly bloodthirsty and extremely implausible. I’m like Teflon emotionally.” I stare at him because he wasn’t always like this and it hurts my heart to know why. He waves a hand at me as if dismissing the look on my face. “So, asked him to move in yet?”

I shake my head. “I’m trying to find the right words.”

“Actually, they’re quite easy. ‘Will you move in with me and be my boy toy until the end of days?’”

I roll my eyes as he laughs. “I made a list of arguments to persuade him.”

“Well, of course you did. Not that you’ll need it with him. He’s nauseatingly in love with you. What’s the matter?”

My face must show a horrified expression. “Oh shit, I left the list on the bedside table. Fuck. Maybe he’s seen it.”

He bites his lip. “Well, if he’s read it, at least you’ve managed to cut out the terrible middleman bit of having to use words. Out loud.”

“Fuck,” I say again and dart up the stairs, Clarence trotting along behind.

“Good luck,” he shouts after me.

I let myself into the flat and tiptoe towards the bedroom. “We’ll creep in and get it,” I whisper to Clarence at the door. “And he’ll never know.”

“Never know what?” comes a warm voice.

“Shit,” I mutter to Clarence, who is patently unconcerned as he sits down to lick his balls. I come cautiously round the door to find Jesse sitting up, leaning against the headboard with the green sheets in a puddle around his lap. His hair is falling over his face, his eyes glowing with humour.

“Well, good morning to you,” he purrs, lifting his arms up and stretching.

Unbidden, my eyes fall to his lap to see if I can get a glimpse of his dick, and then I remember my mission. I dart a quick look at the table and relax slightly when I see the paper still lying there.

“What are you staring at?” he murmurs.

“Nothing,” I say shiftily. “Just checking I haven’t lost my shopping list.”

“Oh, your list,” he says, biting his lip. “What’s on it?”

“Why are you interested?”