She was referring to Derek French, a man Louise had had a short-lived affair with. An affair which had very nearly cost Louise her life. Although they rarely talked about it, Dee knew the event had marked both of them in ways they’d probably never fully understand. It had brought them closer, too. Dee’s relationship with her cousin was one of the constants in her life. She couldn’t imagine a time Louise wouldn’t be in her life.

‘But I went to my GP last week and apparently it’s nothing to do with stress. I’m menopausal, Dee. She checked my hormone levels. Isn’t it awful?’

‘More awful than PTSD?’

Louise scowled.

‘You know what I mean.’

Dee didn’t. Not really. She’d started her menopause in her late forties and hadn’t had a period in over three years. Apart from the really rubbish symptoms – hot flushes, mood swings and an inability to remember the most basic information – the only reason she’d really cared was because it was final proof that she could never, now, be a mother.

‘I think I’m through the worst of it.’ Dee said. ‘At least, I sincerely hope so. It is horrible Lou, but look on the bright side.’

‘What bright side?’

‘No more periods.’ Dee clinked her glass of wine against Louise’s glass. ‘Now that really is worth celebrating, don’t you think?’

‘What about the rest of it?’ Louise said. ‘How did you cope? You barely mentioned it when you were going through it. Why don’t women speak more openly about this stuff? I’ve been feeling awful recently. Tired, emotional, ratty with Martin and the kids. God, I hate being a woman sometimes. And what happens afterwards?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You know.’ Louise leaned across the table as she lowered her voice. ‘Sex. Is it still the same? I’ve heard your libido drops to literally zero. What am I meant to do if that happens?’

‘Relax,’ Dee said. ‘It may drop a bit, but it will come back again. You know, when Ed and I first started having sex…’

She was interrupted by Louise, putting her hand up.

‘Stop right there, Dee Doran. I do not want to hear about your sex life.’

‘You were the one who brought it up.’

Louise pulled a face.

‘I didn’t expect you to start going into graphic details.’

‘Sorry,’ Dee lied. ‘Listen, Lou, you’ll be fine. It’s not pleasant while it lasts, but you’ll get through it.’

And at least you’ve been lucky enough to have had two beautiful children, she thought.

‘I don’t have a choice, do I? Anyway, I’d rather not think about that now. Tell me about Emer. You said meeting her was complicated. What do you mean?’

Dee took a sip of her wine as she considered the best way to answer that.