Joe gripped her hand, pulling it up to his lips and holding it there. He closed his eyes. ‘So, how was proposing meant to help? Did you think a wedding ring on your finger – and on my finger – would change all that?’

‘I don’t know what I thought. That it might change you, I suppose. But I was just burying my head in the sand. Pretending. Trying to make you be someone you’re not. I just wanted to shake you into doing something. Anything. So, tell me. What went wrong with us? Why was it a “no”? Why was it always only ever going to be a “no”?’

‘Because … oh, this is so hard.’

‘Just tell me, Joe. I’m tired now. Tell me, or go.’

‘All right. All right. It was going to uni. Suddenly feeling free of my old life, free to do what I wanted without being watched or judged. It was like a light being switched on. I could be me. For the first time. The real me. And that was because of Jake.’

‘Jake? Your flatmate?’

‘More than that, Prue. Jake was … is … much more than that. We grew close, spent a lot of time together. It just sort of came out of that really.’

‘What did? Do you mean that you and Jake …?’

‘Are you shocked? Look, Prue, you’re the first person I’ve told. The only person. And I’m not finding it easy.’

‘You and Jake? Well, I didn’t see that coming. But I’m not shocked exactly. Surprised, though. Go on, you’ve started now, so tell me. All of it. I’m not going to get upset, believe me. If that’s who you are, what you want …’

‘It is, and I am so sorry.’

‘Don’t be. It’s a relief really. That the not fancying me stuff had a reason. That it wasn’t me being … inadequate.’

‘Don’t be daft. You’re gorgeous. Just not my sort of gorgeous, if you know what I mean.’

‘Okay …’

‘So, after uni, Jake went back home, up to Leeds. I wanted to be with him. I found a job up there, to be near him, but I was so scared to bring him home to Shelling, to introduce him to my dad, to have to tell him … and you. I was in denial. Hiding. I didn’t know how to admit the strength of what I was feeling, to anyone. Even to me. And in the end Jake just had enough of it. If I couldn’t walk down the street holding his hand, if I couldn’t come out and tell my family who he was, and who I was, then we were over. So I chucked my job in and I came home to Shelling, and tried to fit back into my old life, and back in with you.’

‘That was never going to work, was it?’

‘Probably not, but I thought if I tried … Jake’s not like me, you see. He knows what he wants. He’s very upfront, very open. Nothing scares him. And everything … everything scares me.’