As Graham nodded his head slowly, I could tell he was hooked. Pulling the bag from between her breasts where they had obviously been warmed, Gail opened them slowly and on cue, there they went—two bags of nuts fell into his lap. At first Graham tried to clean up the mess himself, but his hands were quickly replaced by Gail, who slowly began grazing her way along his thighs. Moving and shifting, tossing and turning, bumping and grinding. I could see Graham squirm and worm in his seat, at first fighting it off, but he was no match for Gail. Gail was a pro and the bastard was enjoying it. I could see his seat slowly recline. Slowly it reclined. Lower and lower it reclined. Until Graham, now hot and bothered, was lying in a nearly horizontal position, where I could see the steam racing from his head.

Instantly, Gail stood up, adjusted her breasts one more time, lowered her skirt, and leaned down, kissing Graham on the forehead. She then walked by Sam, handing him the baton like Marion Jones. Grabbing a pot of coffee, clinging and clanging, he weaved his way through the aisle, finally reaching Graham.

“Hello. Can I offer you something to drink? You look awfully parched. Would you like some coffee, juice, or an ice-cold can of Colt .45? I hear Colt .45 goes excellent with warm nuts.”

“Coffee, please.”

“Would you like one lump or two?”

“One.”

“Coming right up.” Sam poured the coffee and dropped in the sugar, all with a devilish grin on his face. I was afraid for Graham, and of what was to follow.

“All done.” I saw it happen almost in slow motion. Graham’s cup of coffee went flying through the air, landing straight in his lap.

“Aaiyeeeeeeeeee!” He was scorched.

“Oh my God, what have I done?” Sam asked apologetically. “Are you all right?”

“No! You burned my leg, you idiot!”

“I did? Well, how does that feel, I mean, being burned and all? I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been burned. Although, my girlfriend was burned once by a man who she thought loved her and wanted to be with her, only to find out he couldn’t ’cause he was a lying, two-timing, reservoir dog. Let me get you another cup, since I spilled that one on your pair of thousand-dollar slacks.”

“No! You’ve done enough, thank you.”

“It’s really no problem at all. Let’s try some tea this time.” Again in slow motion, the tea went flying into his lap.

“Aayeeeeee! What the hell is your problem?”

“Oh my God! I don’t know what’s wrong with me today! It’s like things are just slipping through my fingers like love slipped through that same girlfriend’s fingers when she found out that the man she loved was actually not a man at all, but the one hundred and first dalmatian.”

“Get me something cold! Now!!”