“It’s not a name for a woman. Juicy is Langston’s dog that he treats like his woman. If I could only get rid of the dog, we might have a chance.”

“Girl, that’s easy.”

“You have to see them together to understand what I mean. Trust me, it’s not.”

“No, girl, trust me, it is. I’d put up with the dog through the courtship, the engagement, and through the honeymoon. I’d act like I was in love with the dog. But then, we’d get home from our trip, walk in the house, and I’d be like, ‘Baby, why don’t you pour us some wine so we can pick up where we left off?’ He’d rush to the kitchen to pour the wine thinking he was about to get some and there I’d be. Finally left alone with Juicy. ‘Here Juicy! Come here, girl! Did you have a nice time on our honeymoon? Yeah, girl, I know you did, barkin’ all damn night, shittin’ on the carpet, peeing on the comforter. Yeah, here you go, Juicy. Momma brought you back a gift. A nice big bag of cyanide-flavored milk bones. That’s a good girl, that’s right, eat up, you greedy little bastard. Eat all you want. Here, have another one. That’s a good girl. Oh, Juicy? What’s wrong, Juicy? Look at your eyes rolling around in your head. And your tongue, what’s wrong with your tongue? It’s changed three different shades already, from pink to red to black. And you’re not breathing…Awwwww.’ See? No more Juicy!”

“If it were only that easy.”

“It is. I got a cousin who works at a chemical supply company. We can get all the cyanide we want.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. Lastly, there’s the Right Reverend Doctor Bishop Pastor Curtis P. Merewether.”

“Ooooh, that’s the one I like. The upper room.”

“You like him because you haven’t met him. Him or his staff of missionaries that do more blocking than the entire offensive line of the Dallas Cowboys.”

“No, I like him because I listened to that cassette you gave me of his church service. Girl, he can preach. And anybody that can take you there spiritually can damn sure take you there sexually. Say what you want, Curtis is a catch.”

“He might be a catch, but you’ve gotta avoid the rush long enough to throw the pass.”

“Have you forgotten that I was a Raiderette for three years? I learned a thing or two about avoiding a rush.”

“Yeah, well then consider him a free agent, ’cause I don’t want him.”

“Is that restricted or unrestricted?”

“Both.” Laughing, we continued boarding the passengers until it was almost time for take-off.