Television (guiltily): ‘A still of the American flag, and some weirdo in a pale blue nylon suit talkin’ about the end of the world. The Farming Report should be comin’ up real soon.’
Viewer: ‘OK, I guess I’ll take the flag. But don’t push me’ (getting out a revolver) ‘or I’ll blow your fuckin’ screen out.’
Television: ‘OK, man, just keep cool, OK? The reception isn’t too great, but it’s a real good shot of the flag. I personally guarantee that.’
Patrick switched off the television. When would this dreadful night come to an end? Clambering onto the bed, he collapsed, closed his eyes, and listened intently to the silence.
Ron Zak (his eyes closed, smiling benignly): ‘I want you to listen to that silence. Can you hear it?’ (Pause.) ‘Become part of that silence. That silence is your inner voice.’
Honest John: ‘Oh, dear, it’s not over yet, eh? Who’s this Ron Zak, then? Sounds like a bit of a prannit, to be honest.’
Ron Zak: ‘Are you all one with that silence?’
Students: ‘We are one with the silence, Ron.’
Ron Zak: ‘Good.’ (Long pause.) ‘Now I want you to use the visualization technique you learned last week to picture a pagoda – that’s kind of a Chinese beach house, only in the hills.’ (Pause.) ‘Good. It’s very beautiful, isn’t it?’
Students: ‘Gee, Ron, it’s so neat.’
Ron Zak: ‘It’s got a beautiful golden roof, and a network of bubbling round pools in the garden. Climb into one of those pools – mm, it feels good – and allow the gatekeepers to wash your body and bring you fresh new robes made of silk and other prestigious fabrics. They feel good, don’t they?’
Students: ‘Oh, yes, they feel great.’
Ron Zak: ‘Good. Now I want you to go into the pagoda.’ (Pause.) ‘There’s somebody in there, isn’t there?’
Students: ‘Yes, it is the Guide we learned about the week before last.’
Ron Zak (a little irritably): ‘No, the Guide is in another room.’ (Pause.) ‘It’s your mum and dad.’
Students (in startled recognition): ‘Mum? Dad?’
Ron Zak: ‘Now I want you to go over to your mum and say, “Mum, I really love you.” ’
Students: ‘Mum, I really love you.’
Ron Zak: ‘Now I want you to embrace her.’ (Pause.) ‘It feels good, doesn’t it?’
Students (they scream, faint, write cheques, embrace each other, burst into tears, and punch pillows): ‘It feels so good!’
Ron Zak: ‘Now I want you to go over to Dad and say, “You, on the other hand, I cannot forgive.” ’
Students: ‘You, on the other hand, I cannot forgive.’
Ron Zak: ‘Take out a revolver and shoot his fuckin’ brains out. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.’
Students: ‘Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.’
Koenig Spook (terrible creaking of armour): ‘Omlet! Ich bin thine Popospook!’