GWEN: Well, do you think they’ll pack themselves? Do you think holidays happen by themselves?

MEG: No.

GWEN: Well, get those pillowslips. And I can’t see any beach towels here. I hope no-one expects to take any of my good towels down onto the beach. Did you hear me?

MEG: Yes. I’ll get some now.

GWEN: Is that box of canned food out at the car? It should go in the boot.

MEG: [calling off] Mum wants to know if the box of groceries has gone out.

JIM: [offstage, calling] Yes. It’s here.

MEG: Yes, it’s there.

GWEN: Miracle of miracles. My head will split. Look how late it is. We won’t get enough sleep. And we won’t get away before seven. Every lunatic on earth will be on the roads in the morning. [Calling] I said every lunatic on earth will be on the roads tomorrow. And we’ll be caught in the middle of it. [Back to MEG] I wish some people did a bit more, with a bit more preparation. Instead of leaving it all to the last second. People think holidays happen all by themselves.

MEG: I think you should go to bed now.

GWEN: Ha! We’d still be here on New Year’s Day. No, I’ll keep going. I may as well.

MEG: But your head’s killing you.

GWEN: I’ll have a Bex before bed.

MEG: But why not stop, rest, relax? We’ll get there.

GWEN: Have you got the thermos organised yet?

MEG: I’ll do it, don’t worry.

GWEN: I may as well be talking to a lot of brick walls. And what have you packed in the way of clothes? You’re old enough to cope with that. I suppose you are. It’s up to you. Just don’t come running to me when you’ve got nothing to wear. I told you two weeks ago, as soon as your exams were finished and over with, to start getting your things together.

MEG: Yes, I’ve done it. I’ve got a bag. Why can’t you relax?

GWEN: Don’t take on that tone of voice. You’ll end up a snide miss and no-one can stand that. Everyone does what they have to. If we’re going to have any sort of reasonable holiday we’re going to have to pay for it. We’re paying for it now, by spending all night packing up to go.

MEG: But it doesn’t seem much fun.

GWEN: Fun. Now there’s a good word. Fun. It doesn’t seem much fun.

MEG: You aren’t enjoying it. Have you ever enjoyed it?