“I don’t always like them,” he says. “But hey, you’re not always gonna like anywhere, right? At least here you get to just relax and be sick and not have to be anything else. You should see me when I’m admitted. Just total sick caricature. Demanding Jell-O and shit. Plus they know me here. I live in Chelsea and I still trek out to Queens every ten days to visit this place.”

“I grew up here,” I say. “My dad’s the chief physician.”

“No shit,” he says.

“No shit.”

“Well,” he says. “I like your house.”

“I need a job title for you,” I say, showing him my notebook. “See, it’ll say Sasha, uh…”

“Sverdlov-Deckler.”

“Right. And then sixteen. And then your job. You can pick something funny if you want. I let people put down whatever they want.”

“Brother,” he says. “Put brother.” He looks at my IV. “Looks like your bag’s done.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“See you next time?” he says.

“I’m only here once a month,” I say.

“Yeah, but you live here, right?” He closes his eyes, smiling. “I’m just kidding,” he says. “I can be patient. Probably. Well, I can try it. I like trying new things.”

Cathy, one of the nurses, comes and tapes up my IV. “Bye, Sasha,” I say.

His eyes are still closed. “See ya, Grandma.”

I take my phone out of my pocket on the way to the elevator and open up a text to Maura, but my fingers feel cold and stiff, like frozen tree branches. I stretch them toward my palm and back up to my wrist.

Me: Met a cute boy.

She always answers immediately, which is why she’s always the first person I text for play-by-plays.

Maura: NO BOYS!!! You know your job.

I roll my eyes and press the button for the cafeteria. I love Maura, but she has no idea the real reason why I don’t date.

Not that it matters. The point is that I don’t. If that boy’s waiting for me, he’ll be waiting a long time.

...

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Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments

My first thank you always goes to you, the reader. These characters wouldn’t be alive and kicking without you picking up this book and I’m beyond grateful for each and every one of you!

Dare, my partner in crime, the love of my life…thank you for your constant support as I poured my soul into this book. Through countless hours of research and formatting and creating images, you are seriously the man.

N0decaf, I don’t have enough ways to say thank you for all your guidance on this book. All the emails, calls, and chats. All the scenarios and “what-ifs” that you met with an open mind and easy grace. Thank you. I couldn’t have finished this book without you.