It’s never easy telling those we love something about our identity that they likely have no clue about. I’m sure if you were living on your own and not in financial need of their support, you might even torture yourself by avoiding telling them until you were close to the end of your transition. But I’m so glad you’re not willing to go down this road alone. You don’t deserve to. Their support will only help with your success in transitioning. And it will be good for them to start seeing you now as your true self, which I’m sure will help a ton with your overall health.

I know it’s scary, but everything you’ve told me indicates they’ll support you. They may have questions regarding the process (I know I did!). I couldn’t sit at my keyboard and presume to know your situation, so I took your question (anonymously) to a well-trusted psychologist and he helped me come up with what we feel is the best plan of action for you. You by no means have to follow this advice—honestly you have to listen to your heart and your instincts more than anything. But, since you came here, I’m going to give you everything I have.

First, if you haven’t already found the local transgender support groups in the area, I’ve complied a list of them HERE. It is so important to talk to people who have undergone this process or are going through it currently. They will understand you and your needs in a way no one else can.

Like I said, from what you’ve told me, I doubt any of this applies to your parents, but you need to think about the tough questions and rule them out. Do you think they’ll respond violently? If so, you need to have a plan in place to protect yourself against such measures (a public venue and a trusted friend’s place to stay at until the situation calms down). Do you think they’ll deny all financial support? If that’s the case, you’ll want to construct a plan to pay for the medical (both mental and physical) care that will go into your transition.

Now, if you’ve ruled out the above, then most likely your supportive parents will have questions. Before you tell them, I suggest you create a list of questions you may think they’ll ask and write down the best possible answers. That way you’ll have a concrete list to go to, something that will guide you through the important process of gaining their full support and attention on the matter.

I’m betting—and hoping—that they will respect the truth about your body, mind, and soul, and support you as you go through this incredibly difficult process.

The road is hard, but nothing worth it is ever easy.

Sending you all the good vibes!