CrossFitandUnicornsForLife asks: “I’m not from Wilmont. Our school doesn’t have a dress code like yours does, so I know I shouldn’t be complaining. But try not to hate me and hear me out. I was sent home early today because I refused to change my top during weight conditioning. This is an elective class but one I chose to take because I like to stay in shape for sports. Anyway, I had on a tank top. Not a spaghetti strap, not a cami, but a razorback tank top. The teacher told me to go put on a T-shirt because the amount of skin I showed was distracting the boys. The same BOYS who were shirtless! Like…I was stunned. I said as much and then I got written up and sent home for talking back. My parents totally understand and aren’t mad at me, but we’re all pissed at the situation.

Again, I know you have a dress code at Wilmont, so this is probably super annoying. I’m grateful to have the freedom to—mostly—wear what I want to class, but this…I don’t know what to do. I thought about going straight to the principal, but being that he’s a guy, I wasn’t sure he’d understand. So I just went home.

But I’m still fuming.

I need to do something! The guys are allowed to wear nothing but shorts and yet my SHOULDERS were distracting? How can I stop this from happening to another girl? I know the clear answer is to not wear tank tops to conditioning, but the guys get to go on not wearing shirts? How is that fair?”

I don’t hate you.

I may envy your non-dress-code school, but never hate. ;)

I do, however, hate that this happened to you. Hate that it’s just so typical. You’d be surprised how many similar stories and questions I have in my inbox! Or maybe you wouldn’t. Either way, it’s totally unfair.

It’s the hypocrisy in situations like these that helped fuel my fire when creating this blog. The fact that girls are constantly reminded we are distracting to boys and we’re the ones who need to change instead of going to the source of the problem—teaching the guys to chill if they see a shoulder.

And, in reality, are they even distracted? Is there a team of boys out there reporting each and every girl shoulder they see? Or each legging-covered leg? Each bare knee when a girl wears a skirt or shorts? Is distraction a legitimate excuse or is it one the patriarchy has continuously fallen back on for who knows how long? Because, honestly, I’m distracted by a hell of a lot, and it has nothing to do with what people are wearing.

I completely agree with you and am angry on your behalf.