With a partner like him, I felt damn near unstoppable.

And now that I knew who I was truly facing?

That’s exactly what I needed.

A couple of hours later, still slightly fuming from the scene with Tanner, I found a perfect question for tomorrow’s post. I’d wanted to push the boundaries, see how far I could take things while also still selecting questions that I thought would benefit more people than just the one asking—but this one…

If a post on sex toys wasn’t enough of a jab at Tanner, I didn’t know what was.

My fingers flew over the keys as I typed up my response and then finally scheduled it to go live tomorrow morning. Powering down for the night, I crawled under the covers of my bed. The act was like taking off my mask and slipping into my real role.

Something about being Ask Me Anything made me feel powerful and overwhelmed at the same time. I had this huge responsibility to my followers and yet, lying in bed, sighing against my Marvel sheets, I felt…small. Like the weight of what I was doing might swallow me whole.

In front of the computer? Or witnessing a near blackmail attempt? It was easy to play the Avenger.

Alone, in the dark, in my room—I wondered how it was possible I’d gotten here. I wondered if it was okay that I had taken strength from this process, valued the help I was giving and using that pride and hope to heal my own cracked heart.

I forced my eyes to close, begging my constantly churning mind to switch to sleep mode for at least a few hours.

Sex toys.

God, I was virtually shouting about vibrators in direct opposition to Wilmont’s Dark Ages approach to sex.

I chuckled in the silence.

Well, at least—I hoped—the person who’d written in would take comfort in my response. Would feel reassured and find relief in the answer.

And in the end? That’s all I could ever hope for.

Question of the Day

Volleyballstar6543 asks: “My boyfriend recently went to college, and while we’re making the long-distance thing work, I’m missing not only him but his…physical contact. We have phone sex, but I feel like I need more than just me to get me there. It’s slightly embarrassing, but I want to buy a vibrator, or something, but I have no clue where to start. Help!”

I’m super glad to hear that you’re making long-distance work! That is such a wonderful thing and shows you two really care about each other. And you have no need to be embarrassed. It’s completely natural to crave that intimacy even if your partner is hundreds of miles away.