It wasn’t getting chewed out by Tanax, either. She could think about that with surprising equanimity. Let him take his report to the Council. I’ll tell them what really happened. Nicomidi and the Dogmatics might side with his agathios, but she was certain Baselanthus and the Pragmatics would understand. Centarchs are supposed to be heroes. If the Order isn’t for rescuing children from dhakim, what in the Chosen’s name is it for?

And that was the real sticking point, the thing that made her heart twist. It was the look Kaiura had given Tanax, the faces of the villagers as she’d made her way back with Beq. The fear. We’re here to help them. To serve them. They shouldn’t be afraid of us. It made the victory taste like ashes. And now Tanax is going to make it worse. Dhak.

Beq gave a quiet whimper. Maya sat up, too abruptly, and her head swam. She swallowed and looked down in time to see the arcanist shift awkwardly, then moan, as though she were in pain. Her face was twisted, freckled skin sheathed in sweat. Hesitantly, Maya reached down and touched her shoulder.

“Beq,” she said. “Hey. Are you okay?”

Beq’s eyes snapped open, pupils very wide. Her breath came in quick gasps. Seriously worried now, Maya rolled out of bed and knelt beside her on the floor.

“Hey.” She put her hand on Beq’s arm and tried to speak soothingly. “It’s all right. You’re all right. Just breathe.”

Maya wasn’t sure if her words had any effect, but after a few moments Beq’s rapid breathing slowed. She blinked, and her eyes focused. Abruptly, she sat up, forcing Maya to shuffle backward.

“Glasses …” Beq said, groping on the floor beside her. “Glasses, glasses—ah.” She flipped her spectacles open and put them on, some of the tension going out of her. One hand went to the dials, twisting new lenses into place. “Maya?”

“Sorry,” Maya said. “I wasn’t sure if I should wake you. You sounded like you were in pain.”

“Oh,” Beq said in a small voice. “That.”

“Are you … okay?” Maya shifted awkwardly. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”

“No, it’s something you should know if we’re going to be sleeping together.” It was good that it was dark, Maya thought, so that Beq couldn’t see her expression. Apparently oblivious, the arcanist went on. “It’s been a while, but I guess today … stirred things up.”

“Nightmares?”