natter natter natter natter natter natter natter natter

‘Ya’ll have ta slow down … Who rang ya?’ She placed her hand flat on the top of her head.

Margaret Rose knew exactly who and what it was had upset Niquita Sherlock.

‘Calm down … I’m sure he wasn’t drunk … Look it, if that’s what he wants, Nick …’

She lowered her tone.

‘Yar far better off without him … What ja think I mean? You knows well what I mean … Oh, now, hush please, love. I hate hearing ya like this …’

Jane screamed out from her bed. ‘Is it morning? Agggh. It’s raining. Damn it.’ Jumping up and out of bed she plucked handcream bottles and cups and pillows and began thrusting them into the middle of her bed. ‘Everyone just needs to lie down quietly and later we should set a nice tea out on the big lawn, and hope that the rain stays off. We’ll do our best to avoid the thistles, cursed things those flat thistles and if it looks grey or nasty sure we can bring out the umbrellas.’

‘Yes, Niquita,’ Margaret Rose said. ‘No, ’tis just poor Mrs Lohan. Woman beside the window … uh-huh, yeah …’ Then covering her mouth with her hand, ‘Ya’ll be all right, I’d say, love, and ya don’na want ta hear this, but my gut feeling is he did mean ta break it off … Why? Well, for wan thing, he probably knows yar too good far him … What ja mean what do I mean? I mean he knows yar too good for him … It is not a daft thing ta say … Look, fuck’im, Nick. Respect yarself. Plenty more fish in the sea … Ah don’na hang up … Love? Hello? Hello? Nick?’

Jane stared long and hard at a box of tissues, then plucked out five and folded them into perfect triangles, placing them down beside the heap of items on her bed. At first she seemed pleased but then she began crying into them. ‘Rain, no one said it would rain. Rain. No rain was promised. This is really dreadful.’ Jane howled at the window.

‘Ah, great, yar still there … Look, there’s bigger shames in life than Jonathan breaking yar line … I knows yar upset, peteen, but that’s the way. Now tell people ’twas you broke it off. Ja hear me? Don’na give him wan more inch … No, I agree, yeah. Yeah … True, ya aren’t exactly comfortable with time on this. Sorry.’

Long silence.

‘I know ya don’t want ta lie, loveen, but ja really think telling him the truth now will help you? He won’na marry you now far sure. It’d be a lot easier if ya made a quick decision. Less invasive.’

Niquita was as strong-willed as her mother. Some minutes passed and Margaret Rose blew upwards, her bottom lip protruding.

‘He’s no good ta ya … and he won’t be a good father … Ya have to listen to me, please, love. Jesus, Nick … it’s far the best.’ Margaret Rose was beginning to sound exasperated. ‘I know well it’s yar choice. Think about it … OK, well, that’s good then … Maybe come in and we can chat face ta face. And chat with Mic … Really? Well, maybe ya need ta take her advice … She loves ya so much … Yeah, I know, it is pressure, yar running outta time, love, last thing ya need is yar father or wan of the Lally family finding out and going blabbing it.’