‘Oh, feck it, is she? Oh, no.’ She lifted her leathered hand to her mouth. I wasn’t sure I had been fair to the old woman, perhaps I should have played along. ‘Did I upset her?’

‘No, no, she’s fine. She’s just tired,’ I said, having gone too far.

She was silent a minute.

‘Have you ever told Tom?’ I asked.

‘About the summer nurse all curled up like a little dog with the Polish boy? No, no, sure, I haven’t seen Tom, with my holidays, you know, he needed to stay home, cows calving.’

‘No,’ I said, rubbing her back, ‘did you tell him about Ann?’ I couldn’t imagine Molly and Michal. Not then. I distracted myself.

‘Of course. Jane Lohan does not like secrets.’ She swatted my hand down, crossing her heart and hoping to die. ‘Just before our wedding, oh, now, you see, it was so very early on the morning that we were married, that was the way things were done, early morning, up to the altar when the cock crew. I called out to him, to his house, out to his home place. It was about six in the morning,’ she said, tracing her finger around an imaginary clock, ‘I couldn’t sleep for days with the big secret, and I knocked on their front door. Big house. His mother answered and she wasn’t going to let me in, bitch of a mother, you see, imagine, a morning breakfast celebration? That’s the way we did things,’ she said, distracted, and caressed my neck. ‘I couldn’t keep it from him any more. I hardly knew him, but I was in love with Ann, I always would be, despite all that happened, and I was not in a good place to be marrying anyone. I told him all about her, Ann, how he’d never be as good as her. And that I probably couldn’t …’

‘Oh, God. How’d he take that?’

‘Him? Oh, now, he took it very badly, not good if you must know. For he went as quiet as a mouse, you see, and didn’t utter a word back to me. But we had to marry, you know?’

And she curved her hands in front of her.

‘Oh, he marched off out of the short hallway like a lunatic, and went into a bedroom and slammed out the door. Cursing. I had to leave, the mother was shouting all sorts at me, and told me I better be at that altar by nine, or she’d let everyone know … she was wild and angry. I did what I was told, went home, and readied myself. I got dressed, it was just a light pink jacket and skirt, we didn’t go in for much fancy nonsense then, and I went along and met him at the altar, an hour later. He was terribly white. Wouldn’t look at me, or link me. I pulled the wedding band on myself in the end.’

‘Did it help?’ I said, unsure of why she exposed herself like this. ‘Telling him?’